Triggering (SI) - Stagnating

[FlightlessBird]

Lately I just feel like I'm stuck in one place. I graduated college this past May and cannot for the life of me find a job...anywhere...in anything. I can't find a job in my field, I can't find a job in retail...nothing. My parents have this odd assumption that there being job openings at all means I'll get hired for them if I apply. Which is nonsense. They think I sit around playing on the computer all day not applying anywhere. I mean I do sit around all day on the computer, that's all there is to do, but it's not like I'm not doing anything productive.

The other issue is that all of my friends live at least 3 hours away. I have no friends from highschool and my college friends don't live near me. I don't have work friends because I don't work. And of course all of them have found jobs, all of them are moving on with their lives. They aren't sitting around doing nothing.

I seriously just feel like my life is going nowhere. I watch tv and listen to songs that remind me of relationships and love and I feel like all of that is something I won't have. Like all of what I want is what I can't have, what I'll never have.

Basically I feel like my parents are right. Like I'm lazy and in some way contributing to having no life...at all. I read a book called The Primal Wound about the psychology of adopted children, and so much of it rings true for me. Calling me lazy is the last thing they should be doing. The last time we got into a big fight I threw it at them, but who knows if they've even read it.

I don't know what I expect from posting this. I just feel so crappy lately and I know my lack of a life is the cause. I haven't felt this down in a while. I miss being at college, I miss my friends and having things to do...having a job. I haven't cut for over 6 months, but lately I've just felt so useless that I feel like it's something I should be doing. Not that I want to, just that I should. Like it's times like these and feelings like these that I would cut away. I'm really trying to keep it together and keep the hope alive, but with the economy the way it is, who knows when anything will change.

[Sigma]

You're not lazy - just look at what you've done, you've got through College and graduated despite all the extra stuff you've had to deal with - that's like having 2 jobs at once and you've acheived it. I know it's horrible to feel that everyone else is getting on with thier life (though that's not necessarily the case, even if they have a job it may be the first thing that came along, not the right thing to do). You are applying for jobs and that will pay off, even if it doesn't feel like that right now.

Have you thought about doing some voluntary work? I did that when I left College because I didn't think anyone would ever want to employ me. It was a good way to meet people (all sorts of people, and that was really good for me as well), have something productive to do, impresses employers, it helped me get out of bed in the morning and sometimes suprised me to find what I thought I'd enjoy and what I did enjoy were sometimes different...! And I ended up changing direction quite a bit, but that's been great because I'm doing what I enjoy rather than what I thought I should enjoy (and it led to paid work).

Anyway, sweetie, hang on in there. You're doing really well, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

[lostandalone3]

Hey,

I am having difficulty finding a part time job just while i am on holiday from uni so i can understand how you feel.
Are there actually many jobs available? I think the recession has something to do with it, the num of jobs have decreased and alot of people are being made redundant. So please try not to let it get you down

[one_step_closer]

I understand some of what you are feeling, I could have written most of that myself. I graduated from uni this year but I also can't find a job or meet up with my friends a lot because they live so far away. I spend most days online or reading. Looking for voluntary work is a really good idea as a lot of places are crying out for volunteers. Does your college offer a careers service for graduates? Maybe you could ask them for some advice about what to do. Try looking into community groups to see if there is something that you migh like to do with your day where you could also meet new people and hopefully make new friends. Could you arrange to stay over with one of your friends so that you can spend some time with them for a while?

It takes time for life to get to a point where you feel content with the way things are, I know it's hard to keep waiting though. I really hope that things get better for you soon. Please get in touch any time. Take care.