I know i haven't been around for a while, I've been trying so hard to recover. I have been S.I free for 2 months, but i slipped up last night. So, i really think i need everyone's support on RYL. I have cut everyone out of my life on RYL, especially Laura (Broken_angel) and Oly, im so sorry you guys, just i wanted to do this on my own :(, obviously i can't.
My schiz is getting worse, she turns up at work now. I feel like I can't live. Even if I don't see her, i feel her presence near me. She gives me nightmares, she tells me what to do, she has such a hold on me, i can't breath.
I hate myself so much right now. I don't want to be here, i feel fat and ugly, my ED is slowly but surely coming back.
Im so sorry if i have took anyone for granted or hurt anyone. Oly, i need you right now. Help meee...before it's too late, and i give in to my self-destructive nature.
x
thank you, Lily, for saving mummy's life*.
You are my one and only, you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight, and you'll be alright.
2 months is really good and slip ups happen but you are strong and have shown that by going 2 months, and when you are ready you will be able to achieve that again.
Are you getting any support? it sounds it might be a good idea to talk to someone before things get really out of hand, like you mentioned your ED slowly coming back.
We are here for you. I hope you are taking care of yourself the best you can atm sweetness.
hugs xxx
"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier." Paulo Coelho
Hey rebecca *hugs*, I don't know if you remember me but I've been wondering how you've been doing and I'm sorry to see your not doing so good right now
I've not got any good advice right now but if you ever need to PM me I'm here hun
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
"In the driest whitest stretch of pains infinate desert, I lost my sanity, and found this rose"
Rebecca are you still on meds for your scitz?
Could you consult your doctor again and talk to him about how your feeling?
What does she say to you babe?
I know what its like to hate yourself
I know how its hard to believe that your worth anything when your in a certain state of mind
but you really really are! I wish just by saying it I could make you belive me ,your a fab person hun
if anything were to happen to you a lot of people would be devestated
I for one want you to be safe tonight
xxxxxxxxxxx
"In the driest whitest stretch of pains infinate desert, I lost my sanity, and found this rose"
Congratulations on the 2 months. Even if you've had a slip up, you have proven to yourself that you can do 2 months. I think it would be good if you tried to talk to your counselor about how you are feeling. Don't think of it that you are relying on her, she is teaching you how to rely on yourself.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
