Triggering (SI/Suicide) - ...all good things must turn to **** *graphic*
my wonderful new psych
who i waited 8 years for
FOUGHT eight year for;
"You may a well go back to Dr. X as thereis nothing more i can do for you. Good day"
Over.
Before it finally began.
Right after asking for refils i eeded and mentioning the benzo, and i was damn proud...having taken only ON
think that is his feeling, that i just want drugs....
Thats of course why i wrote all the detils of my gunpoint rape, thats why itold him im terrified to go out without sunglasses because ppl can read my thoughts othewise, that is why i was dead honest...
Because i just want drug.
Maybe now that my neck and both arms ae dripping blood i should go back and....and wha?? BEG??!!
**** THAT!!!!!!
**** him!
This just proves what i suspected al along....
no one will help me
im in it sink or swim
and you know
i never learned to tread.....
The following content has been hidden - Reason : graphic
the axe is calling to me. In a way it hasnt before. Loud and clear. The arms and neck arent enough. I didnt hit an artery , obviously. I think i should look at hospital....but im too tired to care. And they do nothing anyways. No one else does (except here) so why should i? I give up, i have no figt left. I simply dont, im sorry. I fought for so long and so hard and im just tired....i just want to rest now.
supposed to go to a friends Bday party/dinner tomorrow....tat should be fun...i guess its a scarf for me huh?
Sorry, nothing useful to say but that is really ****. You need to go back and tell them. Please don't hurt yourself anymore hun you are worth so much more than that. Please, please, speak to someone before you end up doing something else.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
*cuddles*
Oh Rompers, I wish I had something to say to you, something that would help (other than that this psych sounds like a huge ass). I am worried though hun. Please please PLEASE take care.
*massive hugs and much love*
Ally
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
thank you
i have an emergenc call in to my old doc to get me backin residential care....no call back yet. Big surpriise...NOT! I think i should just gothere but ive downed a few drinks and some sleeprs, maybre shold jsut go to sleep and igone the zxe
its so loud
i told him the tru
hard sa it was i didd it
then he gives scripts and say that there is ntohing more he can for e
i called hubby, he said go back ask why
did. he mumbled something of mes and benzo and that thats
****ing ****
sorry
now imbleeding and want so much more
andhuis day is on as normal
dont know if should (can) make bus for old docto get residential, have tohide wouldns as wont take me otherwise
psych hosp is a joke , but well no, is weekend for them , so no meds (except what i shmuggle in till monsday and no time out till see doc on monday. leat at residentil place can come adn go as pl;lease and theydotn search your stuff.
dont know wht to do
should take cab to docs aooffice and tell how i am
but vcant tell all or it psych ward.
resid. plavce wont take suicides
but they dont have to know, long sleeves and scarf will hide damage
wish id hit an artery
cept for family
and friends
sky...thank you nmoe than i can say for talkin gto me, i didnt think icould tlak to anyone but i could to you,i needed an ear, thatnk you. sory ifd worried
romp
*cuddles*
Rompers, please be careful sweetie, please. We love you SO much here, we would hate to see something awful happen...
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
i know you're tired, but you're still fighting romp, and i really can't imagine how you're feeling, but i still have total faith that you can do this. i don't know why you've had to endure another blow like this, it's not fair i know, but remember that you're still standing when so many others (myself included) would be out for the count, and that speaks volumes about how strong you are.
sorry, rambling a bit now. i so hope that you can get into the residential place.
please try and stay safe.
love and *hugs*
sky xx
i know you miss amelia romp, and i didnt know her (and it's not my place to say, so apologies if it upsets), but i'm sure that she would want you to stay safe and keep fighting. please be careful. xx
Last edited by skyran : 14-11-2008 at 10:46 PM.
Reason: adding more...slow typing can't keep up.
poiils are kickin in thihnk just sleep can do no harm sleeping right? be safe
wat for doc call i guess or see tomorow
****
i thuoght this waas it
how stupid can i mbe?
maybe im meant to die to someone help someone else, help docs see what they did wrong and not do itt agsain?
romp
you're NOT stupid romp.
you're right, you need to be safe.
did you take a safe number of pills to help you sleep?
if you did then i agree, sleeping until the doc calls would be a good idea. if you took more then you should go to the hospital as soon as you can, or call someone? your hubby?
you're not meant to die, i'm sure of it.
i'm still around on msn/email if you want to chat or need company.
*snuggles close*
im so scared for you rompers.
im so sorry i have nothing to offer.
please just sleep..it is the safest thing for you right now.
love you.
xxxxxxxx
A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
please fight romp. please. please please please. *clings* i can't lose you darling. FIGHT IT! Scream at them to help you! Please!!!! Go back and show what has happned. He is your doctor still! Sue him. Take him to court for being negligent I don't know! Please get help. Please romp. Please :(
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
