I'm suffering from chronic insomnia and I have been for quite some time. It's the one thing about my illness (BPD) which stays constant when my moods change all the time etc. I've been on Zopiclone, Temazepam and Lorazepam from the GP but they're refusing to give me any more - partly cos they think i'll OD on them and partly just cos they won't give prescriptions for longer than 2 weeks.
Being unable to sleep is ruining my relationship - I find it really hard to sleep in the same bed as my boyfriend as I'm always tossing and turning and trying to get sleep and don't want to disturb him. It's making it really difficult to do any of my uni work as I'm like a zombie in lectures and I'm getting bad marks in tutorials because I can't think fast enough to answer questions and stuff.
Does anyone know of anything at all which will make a difference and might be able to help? I'm tried Nytol and anything with Diphenhydramine Hydrochloride in but it's not doing anything. I don't want to have to put up the dose of OTC things above the maximum dosage but I'm beginning to feel like i might have to.
To be brutally honest, I'm pretty sure that one day I will kill myself. I don't know how exactly but I'm fairly sure that it's going to be in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. That's cos being unable to sleep means I sit and think about things and I get so much worse with trying to battle everything in my head.
I've tried the meds I mentioned above, I've tried the herbal sleep aids, I've tried relaxation. Nothing works. I know insomnia has never killed anyone but I really think it might just lead to me doing something stupid. I'm desperate now. I've even tried to research when I can get sleeping pills from illegally...I don't even care how much money. I know it sounds stupid but I'm really just trying to save my life.
I don't want to spend the rest of my days
Running around, chasing my shadow
So please don't let this chance slip away
If I waste it this time
I won't be here tomorrow
Um Ive posted this before under a general sleep thread, but I'll C+P it again.
The "i can't sleep" thread
So Ive spoken to quite a few people on here who struggle with sleeping. Now I am not an expert! And Im not claiming to know more or less than any one else on here. But I have ended up repeating the same advice over in several threads, so I thought maybe it would be useful to have a thread for people to post things that have helped them or that others could refer to.
Below is my advice. Some of it is things Ive heard, read about or picked up along the way, other bits are things that have worked for me.
Either way if just one person finds it useful, then Im happY!
Many of us forget just how much of our daily lives ,sleep. or lack their of, can impact regardless or not of whether we are mentally ill. Trying to run a body off lack of sleep, is like trying to run a car with a dying battery. It is never going to function optimally! Sleep is needed to repair, to refresh and to heal. Unfortunately for many people with mental illness, lack of sleep is symptomatic, and only serves to feed the extreme moods we feel. However there are ways of trying to help!
A positive sleep routine
I cannot emphasise the importance of having a routine surrounding bedtime, whatever it involves. Going through the same process each night helps the body and mind learn to recognise "wind down" time, so that the physiological changes prior to going to sleep are stimulated.
- Try and make sure you have something to eat in the evening, but avoid a heavy meal in the couple of hours prior to going to bed. If your body is starving then it makes it harder for you to sleep, if it has a heavy meal to digest, then your digestive system is being kick started just as the rest of your body wants to shut down. This can make you feel sluggish and uncomfortable and disrrupt your sleep.
- Light to moderate exercise during the day can increase the bodies physical need for sleep but again don't do it too late in the evening as a) you'll already be tired and b) it is again sending mixed messages to your brain about being active at a time when it should be relaxing.
- Try and stick to a set bedtime each night. Ok lets be realistic, you are probably not going to make it into bed by 11:00pm on the dot every day but give yourself a time bracket in which you will go to bed each night.
- Before you go to bed at night, have a warm, milky drink- something like decaf Ovaltine or Horlicks is good. Try and avoid anything caffeinated like tea or coffee. For those who struggle with EDs, skimmed milk can be mixed with a reduced calorie malt mix, or you could even try warmed water.
- Have a warm bath or shower to relax or unwind. Lots of bubbles. Try looking for lavender or sleep based bath oils and products. I know Radox do a night one.
- Before you get into bed, go through a process of relaxation. Chose some relaxing and untriggering music. Lie on the floor, push your back into it. Focus on tensing and relaxing each set of muscles from toe to head. As you relax the head, gradually become more aware of your breathing, breathing in to 3 and letting it out, to 5 and to 10. Imagine with each breath out that all the crap stuff that you are feeling today is whoosing out your ears and nose, to leave a clean empty space. Now get into bed.
- If reading helps you, then try half an hour before you go to sleep. Make sure you chose your read sensibly. Ban from night times books that you may find triggering or that may bring up memories from the past. If you struggle with concentration, try and chose something that is light and easy to read.
- Trying to get to sleep in silence may aid intrusive thoughts. If you find yourself lying awake at night with everything racing through your mind, try popping on a CD of music you find relaxing or an audio book. Audio books can be retented, sometimes for free or for a nominal fee, at your local library service, and you will now be able to get most things on audio. Personally I am currently addicted to Harry Potter audios, light hearted and easy to listen to!
- A few drops of lavender oil on the pillow or badger sleep balm can help you get to sleep.
A word about sleeping medications, prescription and herbal supplements
In my experience, doctors do not like prescribing sleeping medications, especially to mentally ill people. Anti depressants can be a useful aid in helping people whos sleep is abnormal due to depressive illess and it may be something to discuss with your GP.
The problem is many sleeping tablets are highly addictive and the nature of many (although not all) mental disorders is that sufferers display addictive personality traits. This in itself is a dangerous combination.
If you are on medication for sleep, always follow your doctors advice and make sure that it is being monitored regularly. Always try and stay on it for the least possible time necessary, as in agreement with your doctor. Always consult your doctor is you are going to stop such a medication.
ALWAYS seek medical help in the event of an overdose.
If you are considering asking your doctor for medication to help sleep, consider exploring other options first and try some of the ideas on here before going down that root.
There are a number of marketed herbal sleeping remedies. I have not tried any of these personally and even if I had I would be reluctant to recommend one product over another. These are very individual and what will help one person may have no effect on another. If you want to try something by all means do so, but it is a good idea to inform your doctor beforehand and always stay within the recommended dose.
Creating the right environment (practical things)-
- Switch off all electrical equipment that you dont need. If you do want to leave your mobile phone on, put it in an area away from your bed.
- Ensure the room you sleep in is well darkened so you have curtains of blinds that really block the light. ( For those who dont like sleeping without light, read below)
- Ensure your bed is comfortable. Have a good quality mattress and pillows. People under estimate the effect this can have.
- Just like your bed, what you wear to sleep in should be comfortable also. Choose a pair of PJS that are comfortable and not too lose or too tight. Avoid things which may be itchy such as lace.
- Get into the habit of leaving your bedroom at night as uncluttered as possible by having a quick tidy. Im not talking about picking up every single pair of underwear on the floor, but just putting the odd bit away. A chaotic bedroom is not condusive to rest and relaxation.
- Keep your room and yourself at a comfortable temperature. Trying to sleep if you are too hot or too cold only adds to the problem. If you're too hot, and dont feel safe to open your windows, you could invest in an electric fan. If you're too cold, blankets and a hot water bottle are more environmentally friendly ways of increasing your temperature.
- Always keep by your bed something to help if you can't sleep at night, for example a book or a puzzle book.
A special word for those who have been previously abused:
For those who have been abused or who have suffered trauma, night time can be an even more distressing and difficult time, with flashbacks and nightmares to contend with.
- If you need to check the locks and doors before you go to bed do so, but try not to do it repeatedly as this can become maladaptive. Instead if you need, make yourself a little check list and each night go round and tick off as you check each place. If you feel the urge to go back and check again, say to yourself ( aloud if necessary) " I have checked this already because it has been ticked off and it was locked. I am safe". Try and contain the number of checks you do each night.
- Many people who have trauma difficulties at nights often find they can't sleep in the dark. But at the same time, sleeping with the light on makes it harder for our brains to recognise sleep signals that help us drop off. If you can't face sleeping with the light off, invest in a dimmer lamp so that you can darken the room enough so that it is at a level you feel comfortable with but is less evasive that a full light.
- Surround your bed with things that make you feel safe and secure. As a child there may have been a teddy you clung to when you were feeling scared. Having a comforter helps recreate those security feelings a child gets from their toy. This is nothing to be ashamed of, this is about helping you feel safe.
- Get into the habit of meditating to yourself " I am safe. What happened to me was in the past. No one is going to hurt me while I sleep now".
- Before you go to bed, have a clear plan in your head about flashbacks/nightmares and what you will do if you experience one. Making sure you are prepared with a way of handling it before the event should give you more confidence and help you in turn feel more able to sleep. Have a look at the grounding technique and the dealing with flashbacks thread on the A+B board for lots of good advice.
- Going through the relaxation process both before bed and if you become disturbed during the night can help.
Move away from nights as being something bad and distressing and towards making your bed a sanctuary:
- Trying to change your thinking and attitude towards nights and your bed may help. Instead of associating your bed ( or any where else you feel safe sleeping) with staying awake all night, try and view it as a place where you can get relief from everyone and everything that has happened during the day.
- Make your bed a "no self harm zone". Your bed is somewhere where you can be safe. If you need to act on your urges, get up. ( If you have been abused and you can't make your bed somewhere safe, consider a sofa, somewhere else similar)
- Make your bed as sensually comforting as possible ( sounds dodgy I know!) Choose blankets and dovets and cushions that feel warm, soft and safe. Have a cuddly toy or snuggle blanket if it helps. There is no shame in this. This is your bed, and it is a space for you.
- Restrict the activities you do in or on your bed during the day and at night to only a few for example, reading and sleeping.
What do I do if I wake up in the night and can't sleep?
What you shouldn't really do to start with is get up! This simply tells your brain its time to wake up and get active which makes it harder to drop off. So at first try and stay in your bed. You could go through your relaxation exercises again, try reading or listening to a CD for a bit. If after half an hour this is still failing, maybe then consider getting up. Go somewhere warm and comfortable like an arm chair, and again try reading or maybe watching a non triggering film for a while. Whatever you do, the emphasis should be on relaxation and trying to keep your mind in as wound down state as possible. If you still can't sleep, do at least try going back to bed or laying on the sofa with music or a film, so at least your body is still rested.
I can't sleep at night and then I find myself getting tired and sleeping during the day. Now I've got into this pattern, what can I do?
You need to try and normalise your sleeping pattern. This means being very disciplined with yourself. In the first instance, try going to bed an hour earlier at night and forcing yourself to stay awake for an hour more during the day. Again it all comes down to good routine! If you force yourself to stay awake during the day, however tired you are then you will be more likely to need sleep when it comes to the night. Stay as active as you can, physical exercise increases the bodies need for sleep and can be great for mood control. You may have a few days if feeling rotten, tired and miserable, but as soon as your body gets used to being awake during the day and asleep at night, it will start to settle into this routine again and you should feel much better.
And if you're still really struggling....
Talk to someone. Your GP would be a good starting point. They may be able to recommend other ways to help yourself. Try and explore the root causing of you not sleeping. Try and identify for yourself what worries and thought patterns are going on in your head when you can't sleep, and then look at ways of changing them. A professional such as a psychologist or a counsellor may be able to help you do this.
I hope this helps a bit. It is not exhaustive (pardon the pun) and if any one else has any ideas, feel free to post them.
Like I said, I hope someone finds this useful.
Sweet dreams every one!
I would try to stay away from OTC and prescription sleeping meds as you can easily become addicted to them which is not something you want, especially on top of insomnia.
Have you tried valerian root? It's a herbal sleeping aid, you can find it in shops like Holland and Barratt. Worth a try.
I knew someone with really bad insomnia and in the end the doctor just prescribed him coffee to keep him awake during the day.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I have exactly the same problem! I have been on the same drugs you have described, (prescription and over the counter ones), since I was born as far as I know (The sleep not the drugs) and I am diagnosed personality disorder (I think they're going for borderline but I'm not sure). I have also, like you I expect, gone through every sleeping hygiene/technique/trick in the bloody books. Have you been on sedative antipsychotics/antidepressants at all for it? I am now being put on mianserin (see my separate thread) to help me with depression/anxiety/sleep. I would suggest printing this thread out and showing it to a doctor you trust. Maybe they could give you a short supply, just a few nights. I wish there was a long term non addictive drug for sleep. It majorly sucks, here for you if you want to rant.
My sleep didn't get back on track until I started on mirtazapine, and it still works for me. With an occasional boost from low dose zopiclone or homeopathic/herbal stuff [with permission from my GP.]
A note on valerian - it can be a depressant, so be careful. It's also not to take long term. Passiflora is safer. But do not take with an MAOI.
Rescue Remedy Night is also good - it can help quieten down your mind. It helps me, anyway. And it's safe alongside anything. It doesn't even have alcohol in it that one.
Alongside the meds, psychotherapy is very helpful, I find. Because it gets to the roots of the conflicts that have disturbed me for many years, making me on edge and have trouble with sleep.
Oh, and I cuddle a toy dog. And do imagery/fantasy work to soothe myself - have a safe refuge type place in my head I go to.
How could I forget mirtazapine? It's an AD but boy does it knock you out for the first couple of weeks. It's an antidepressant with sedative properties and as far as I know is non addictive.
I've been on it for the past year and get a full nights sleep every night (usually eleven hours :/)
Obviously your doctor would have to prescribe this.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
As covered in another post I am taking Mirtizipine, One of the big pluses is after taking it within about an hour I can fall asleep (and stay asleep) quite easily.
As the other users have said I would consult your doctor first, they may need some prompting, mention you read about Mirtizipine.
I was put on Quetiapine several weeks ago now and it's great. I too suffered from chronic insomnia but sleep great now. It is used as off label as sleeping med and doesn't (apparently) have the addictive properties of actual sleeping meds. I'm prescribed it to help with impulsivesness/anxiety and reduce self harm but the night time dose has been great for sleep.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Thanks for all the advice so far! I've been on mirtazapine and I agree it was great for sleep but the weight gain started to give me symptoms of an ED so I came off it. I'm considering asking them to put me back on a low dose of mirtazapine along with my current meds (duloxetine) but I'm not really expecting them to say yes!
I don't want to spend the rest of my days
Running around, chasing my shadow
So please don't let this chance slip away
If I waste it this time
I won't be here tomorrow
haveyou tried melatonin? It is a substance which is naturally secreted by the body and helps with the sleep/wake cycle. It can work really well. You can get it in pills you take at night time
I was put on Quetiapine several weeks ago now and it's great. I too suffered from chronic insomnia but sleep great now. It is used as off label as sleeping med and doesn't (apparently) have the addictive properties of actual sleeping meds. I'm prescribed it to help with impulsivesness/anxiety and reduce self harm but the night time dose has been great for sleep.
was going to mention quetiapine! Knocks me out for hours xx
