Triggering (SI/OD) - Admitting I need to go back to hospital
I know i hated being in hospital but its were i felt safe...
since i got out in september things are getting worse and worse and i don't trust myself anymore! I can't be alone by myself! since i got out ive started OD'ing again and I havent done that in months, my self harm has became a bit of an issue as well and my paranoia levels have hit the roof!
I think i need to go back in but I don't want to disappoint everyone and mum having to say "shes in the hospital again". for one thing my granny would be so mad as she has a very bad stigma on hospitals like them. (think its a generation thing)
i need to be in a safe place but also don't want to take up a bed for someone else who needs it more than i do!
sorry for the wee rant!
Each tear drop falls with sorrow, hoping and praying for another tomorrow!
Being in hospital does feel safe, and if you need to be there then you need to be there. But, I think that it's all too easy to go back in when things start to go wrong, and it might be more beneficial to have therapy in the community so you can learn to deal with things at home rather than going into hospital. If you go into hospital whenever you feel like you can't cope, then you will never learn to cope.
I used to go into hospital whenever I felt I couldn't cope at the slightest thing, and in the long run I just got institutionalised and anxious!
But I'm not saying never go in again, obviously if your self harming is getting worse and you feel unsafe then you need to discuss this with your psychiatrist and find the best option for you.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
you need to decide how bad it is. i didn't want to go back in for the same reasons but when it got to a point that i wasnt safe going back in was the wisest thing i could have done. no one needs it more than you if you are not safe with yourself. never mind what you mom's friends might think i'm sure she would rather say that you are in hospital than say you are dead or a mutilated mess. only you can really make the call cause only you know how bad it is. hope that helps . pm me any time you want to rave or chat. i've been there.
Freedom from addiction, freedom from pain. The suffering is worth the life I live now.
I agree with the others- you've got to assess your own risk, and then decide whether you think you can make it through tonight, and call your psych/someone from your care team tomorrow morning to be seen by them. Or if you think you're a real risk to yourself tonight then I'd advise going to A&E and at least being there will keep you safe, and then let the professionals on-call to evaluate how best to care for you. They might not suggest hospital, maybe the Home Treatment Team (if you've got that in Ireland), or something similar that'll see you at home out-of-hours. That way you'd avoid admission at all costs, which is what you want :)
Hope you're ok and keep safe,
xxxx
You're not useless. You WILL eventually learn to cope, it's a long process but I'm sure you will do it.
I think you need to speak to your doctor about this. You could make a plan of action, things to do when you start to feel unsafe etc and have the last resort as hospital.
In Ireland do they have crisis teams and home treatment teams? This could be one way of learning to cope without an admission to hospital. They will visit you at home every day to make sure you are safe and talk things through.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
yea you guys are right, i need to find different ways of coping and leave hospital as a last resort! i just hope i can manage without becoming a complete mess altogether!
im seeing my cpn 2mro and i'll discuss with her what she thinks....
Each tear drop falls with sorrow, hoping and praying for another tomorrow!
hey... i didnt come out right with it incase she thought i was weak or something, incase she thinks im over reacting...
member i posted a thread on the self harm clinic? she's looking further into that and says she needs to speak to my consultant about it as he would be the one refering me!
also when we were filling out forms for incapacity benifits there was a question on whether i intended going in2 hospital in the next 3 months and she wrote "difficult to predict" so im not to sure...
i should have just came out with it shouldnt i have?
Each tear drop falls with sorrow, hoping and praying for another tomorrow!
She wouldn't have thought you were being weak for asking about home treatment teams or crisis teams, infact I think it shows you are being strong and thinking about your own recovery.
No worries though, you can bring it up as and when you need to.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
They have just started a crises team here in Wrexham where I live.
It is basically that they give you the intensive treament that you need. It is for when you need to be treated in hospital but can't be for whatever reason. A nures or suport worker comes to your home up to twice a day depending on what you need. It helps you learn to cope in the community and gets you back to a safe place in your life. It is usually only short term, like hospital is.
I think I'v got this right.
I want to give you a hug but am not sure how to do this yet. If I work out how to do it i'll give you one. It sounds like you need a few.
Last edited by EmLuvsU2 : 13-11-2008 at 02:26 AM.
Reason: Spelling mistake again
They will usually be connected to the same place your CPN works from. They come to visit you at home once or twice a day to keep you safe and out of hospital, and help you to cope at home without needing to be admitted to hospital.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
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