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hi ho off to rehab i go.....
...at least that is where i should be going....
The drinking is out of hand again damnit!
I WAS doing good; now it is shots in morning coffee FFS!
Its waiting the clock out for it to be late 'enough' to have that first real drink...altho maybe the fact im still waiting is a good sign, a sign i havent completely let it go....
But i wake thinking of a drink
I go to sleep with drink on my lips....
And it is no longer to stop the screaming of the two voices in my head cos the new meds are taking care of that...its just palin and simple wanting now.....
needing
I finally relax after a few.
i no longer feel (quite so) stupid, awkward, idiotic, tongue-tied, scared, self-conscious, etc.....
I dont know the point of this.....should maybe be in R/V i suppose....
There ws a wonderful video that a dear friend put up on the old ryl and i wish like hell i coul remember the name or who it was...cos it shows me perfectly...
*goes to hunt*
Typsee...do you remember it??? It was a woman and i remember you saying if she really drank all that vodka she would have died as she was so small....remember it shows her drinking in her kitchen and the table littered with bottles and then she goes out and stretches out on a bench on the street????
romp
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