i didnt give him the note i wrote
i didnt even have the strength to give him a stupid note
and now hes triggered by abandonment fears..i knew this would happen
and my paranoias getting worse
things are getting so bad
i couldnt even give him the note, how pathetic can i get?!!!
theres no hope for me anymore
im a bad person and i dont deserve help..thats why they wont help me. they know i dont deserve it and want me gone from this world
im so pathetic
sorry
Your not pathetic at all, it must have been very hard to think about giving your doctor the note. Just because you havent managed it this time doesnt mean that you cant do it next time. What about taking someone close to you with you and maybe you could ask them to give your doctor the note.
You're not a bad person, and you do deserve help. What do you think makes you a bad person? What evidence do you have, it is just your brain making you think that, its not true. The probable reason why they are not giving you the help you need is because you are not telling them everything they they need in order to help you. No matter how hard it is, you need to be honest with them and tell them that you are struggling and need help. Until you get the confidence to do this, you wont get help. The doctors or anyone else certainly doesnt want you gone from this world, they just simply dont know the facts. Try and challenge your thoughts because there probably isnt much evidence to back up the negative thoughts. You sound like you need help. I know a few people with what you have and I know that they have responded well to treatment and are getting better. Its not easy to ask for help, but once you do, things will start getting a bit easier. Hope this helps.
PM me if you need or want to, Im here for you for anything.
Sazzybean...
Its hard to give the doctor a note, you wrote it thats a start and maybe you can give it to him next time?
I know we were texting after this, but you arent a bad person. The system is crap and fails many people.. none of them are bad people and you would agree, and therefore you arent either. I know you feel like theres no hope but there always is. When I said talk to people at uni, can you go to student support and maybe get a counsellor there? Even if you dont feel its ideal set up, its best to have someone to talk to while you wait for the doctor to refer you/offer you better help.
I loves youuu, and Im always here for you, and you can fight through it, and i;ll be here every step of the way xxxx
"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier." Paulo Coelho
You can post it to the surgery with his name at the top and say its urgent and only he must read it. Then he will get it wthin a day or so.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
*Cuddles you* It doesnt make you pathetic just because you werent able to give the doctor a note. Giving a note to the doctor is not an easy thing to do so please dont beat yourself up, do did your best and thats all that matters. Dont give up you will get through this. You are not a bad person at all and you do deserve help. Things will get better. Would you be able to go to student support to talk to somone there about how your feeling? Im thinking of you.
*hugs* good luck. GPs are usually really great people.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
thanks guys so much for your support, it means so much!
steell maiden, im thinking about your idea of posting a letter to him, cus i dont think i have he stength atm to build up the courage to give it to him, and i think posting it might be alot easier
im also thinking that this time i should write more stuff down, you know, be more honest..cus in the end thats the only way im gonna get help
though im terrified of telling him still. i keep worrying that hes either going to do nothing or completely overreact. and everytime i think about it theres just this voice in my head telling me its pointless, that its been shown noone can help me so whats the point this time..im fighting so hard to battle against this voice..and my paranoia..
i think what i need to do is write a letter and post it..and then think about going to the uni counselling service..maybe? i dunno
Uni counselling service is a good idea. I was recommended them. Write it all down and send it to your GP. GPs are mostly really nice and helpful people. I remember when I was in Cambridge and I saw the duty GP about the Voices telling me to kill myself...he was really helpful and tried everything possible to help me and he got the Crisis Team to see me in A&E only 20 minutes after I arrived there. So please do send the letter. Good luck.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
