Triggering (SI) - failed again

[kykell]

well yesterday felt on top of the world could do anything,think a bit manic,havnt cut since sunday which is good for me as i am a regular at a and e.
after 3hrs sleep last night woke to the feeling of hating myself,wanting to hurt myself,not wanting to be here anymore.wish i had never gone to bed.
have now cut my wrist again,not deep enough to do much damage but want to do it deeper now,feel such a failure.fed up with doctors wanting blood tests,urine test etc sure they think im on drugs but im not just hate the world

[guiltyinnocence]

*hugs*
you're not a failure, you can get through all this
keep on fighting
keep safe
xxxx

[-Shae-Lynn*]

You aren't a failure.
you only fail when you stop trying and the fact that you are posting here proves to me at least that you haven't stopped trying. You might not be ready to recover, but you aren't a failure.
Are you able to talk to the doctors about what you are going through?