ok, I have a new psych, new meds and..... *drum roll please*
He agrees that the GP I just left was very dangerous and i have a case against him so i am going to file a formal complaint against him!
I feel so much better actually. My head is still very fuzzy still but he says that is still WD's from the two benzo's. Its been hellish but he has increased the dose of one new med and added a new sleep pill.
But he listens. I REALLY like him and i honestly feel this is finally IT !!!! I was very shaky the other day and distracted...distant..hazy and near resorted to harming.....BUT
I DIDN'T!!!!!!!!! :o)
I am cautiously hopeful.......
Funny enough, just as i was readng a post from my dear FRainy and the phone rings...... and it was her!!!!!!!!!! Made my day, thankyou my dear friend. *hugs you tight*
I feel so positive right now!!!!!
Thank you all for being so supportive for so long.
Oh i wish i could share this happiness and hope with all.
thank you thank you everyone! :o)
*steals smilie again* lol...i llliiikkkkkeeee him, we'll just have to share *nods*
Oh im ridiculously happy...and for onceim not thinking about a crash, its nice to actaully be able to feel again. Those two benzo's hid and masked sooooooo much i see now. They hid the darkness at bit but mostly everything, even any good i might have had for so many years.
Im meant to apply for early retirement and i still the old quack for that, so i will use him as he used me as a guinea pig! Bastard!
But im REALLY close to just dumping it all and going back to work. i really WANT to go back, i WANT to be ut and with ppl. Im a little nervous about returning, all the talk and questions etc, but i feel stronger this time, strong enough to make it. And hubby and i looked at numbers and both agree we can make it if i switch to part-time...so i think iwill. I just have to wait for a posting or talk to my supervisor and see about changing shifts. I will try full time tho. At least i get a gradual return to work...and maybe my psych can help me get the period extended to a month in stead of just two weeks. I KNOW i could it then, i really truly do!
You guys have the absolute best for me and to me. ALWAYS cheering me on, giving support even when you are lost in your own hell you still reacjhed out tome. Im forever grateful for that!
Im getting a new tat done (i will put up pics) in december (soonest my guy can do it, hes soooooooo busy which is great to see!). It is going on my top left forearm, a moon, stars and sun in a circle, interlinked to signify my hubby and all he gives me, quite honestly exactly that; the moon the star and the sun ...:o)
But it also is for you guys here...for all you have given me! I thank you form the bottom of my heart :o)
My darling.
I couldn't think of many people who deserve a break, deserve some happiness and relief more than you do. You're so wonderful, and we have waited so many years to hear you excited about looking forward, about a future you have with your family and your wonderful Husband.
He must be so proud of you right now.
I almost want to cry because I'm so happy for you.
I love you darling.
Iz x
You might win one battle.
But know this; I'll win the ****ing war.
) - i like the smile tooooooo!
