Triggering (SI) - si now hurts boyfriend I have ?

pooh061770 · 20-10-2008, 06:25 AM

Hello,
I am a mother with need of info about si, I have read that people that are si do inflict pain on others ? well my son is now dating a girl that is si and I didnt know that at first. now she is doing this to him he has asked her to stop serveral times and she still does it , everything she use to do to herself she is now doing to him? is this some kind of other si? or is this something tottally different? I need INFO ,,,,, PLEASE
The problem is she didnt start this till they have been 2gether for 8 months now he loves her and dont know what to do.

pooh061770 · 20-10-2008, 06:27 AM

im sorry I meant that people with si do NOT inflict pain on others

monket · 20-10-2008, 06:38 AM

Are you meaning to say that now your son is SI-ing or she is cutting him in some way? Or do you mean that your son is emotionally affected by seeing his girfriend do this to herself?

If the first is what you meant, then that it definitely not normal, and your son needs to know that no one has the right to hurt him like that, even if they are hurting.

If the second is what you meant, then there's some articles on the main website that might help him (and you) better understand what SI-ing is about and why people do it. http://www.recoveryourlife.com/index.php?categoryid=68 <--that link contains articles on why people injure themselves. http://www.recoveryourlife.com/index.php?categoryid=115 <--this link is the self-injury FAQ, which may answer some more of your questions.

Ingenue · 20-10-2008, 10:35 AM

^^^^ Pretty much sums up what i was going to say.
Though i do believe you mean your son's girlfriend is self harming & it's upsetting your son as she can't stop?

All you have to know is it takes time to give up something so addictive and something used as a control mechanism.
The best thing you can do is be there for him, as it will affect him and he will most likely need someone to trust. You could also offer him some advice (off this site for example) about how to go about helping his girlfriend.

Good luck & be patient.
Healing takes time.
<3