So...
Umm...
I don't actually know what to say.
I feel like crap? That would be a good start.
I feel like I'm depending on people too much, but I know if I didn't I would crumble.
I want people to notice me... I want them to know that, no actually Im not okay. I want them to see through me so I don't have to tell them.
I want someone to tell me they need me here...
Maybe Im being selfish? Maybe people don't want to tell me because really, my whole life is just one big lie.
Maybe, my friends aren't really friends, maybe I don't have a family, maybe, just maybe, I am just a figment of my own imagination.
Maybe Im not really alive. Im just... existing. Alone. In my own world, where noone understands me.
I hate this. I hate how I have become. I hate WHO I have become. Why?? Is this life? Is this what destiny had instore for me? Maybe, who knows. I will never find out.
Life gets harder. But then you have to go through the storm if you want the sunshine. Except I thought I had the sunshine. I thought I was done with the rain, the thunder and lightening.
When I think things are better... kabooom, destiny has other ideas and deals me a bad hand of cards.
In all honesty I don't know what I expect to get from this post.
I've had second, third and fourth thoughts about it.... but alas.. I am here again.
And you guys have to put up with my insecent moods. Again.
Im trying so hard not to crack, but its going to be visible soon enough.
And maybe... I don't know.
Head. Messed Up.
Too many thoughts to deal with.
Trying sooo hard.
Sorry.
