need a reality check please

Stellata · 11-10-2008, 07:11 PM

I was on the bus home from work, sitting on the raised seat facing the luggage thing by the door [single decker bus].

This guy got on part way through, and decided to stand with his back to the window. i.e. directly facing me. Staring at me, pretty much.

I panicked and got off the bus.

Would you have done the same?

Did I over-react? [bear in mind I have a history of being abused and ridiculed]

What would you have done? [there were no other seats in the bus].

shadowedseraph · 11-10-2008, 07:15 PM

I think i would have done the same thing *hugs*

Margo · 11-10-2008, 07:41 PM

I think thats a pretty impossible question to answer.

I tihnk you need to think about what went on and try to rationalise it a little.

A reality check ? Well you are refering to fear i assume and that fear was very real and so yes it was real.

Did he pose a threat ? well who knows. 99% probably not. but thats something to work through.

Im sorry you paniced. I really am. I hope with time you can get over this.
I know there are many year of wounds to heal. but you'll ge there

Love and a bunch of flowers

matthew xxx

Stellata · 11-10-2008, 07:47 PM

Thanks....

I didn't know where to put my face.
I felt trapped.
Humiliated.

Sans Peur · 11-10-2008, 08:36 PM

I have had similar things happen to me in the past that have freaked me out, so you are not alone with that.

I find the underground still scary at times when my mental state isnt great and people stare and even though i know i stand out in a crowd and a i decided to look like this it doesnt make it any easier

Sorry awful reply

*big cuddles* here for you x

Stellata · 12-10-2008, 08:16 AM

Not an awful reply at all, thanks Jane.

Casper_Fading · 12-10-2008, 10:09 AM

If it had been me, i would have just looked at the floor or gotten off the bus. I know what you mean! *cuddles*

littlelou · 12-10-2008, 11:48 AM

I dont think you over reacted you did what was best for you at the time. I probably would of done the same thing. **hugs**

Lilmizrainbow · 12-10-2008, 06:05 PM

I would probably of done the same thing. Though I wouldnt of noticed him as I dont tend to look at people

Becca · 12-10-2008, 06:11 PM

I have done the same thing.

Sometimes Crazy · 12-10-2008, 07:23 PM

I would have done the same.

I get very uncomfortable with people staring at me, as part of my bullying when I was younger was "singling out" with stares because of my race. You weren't silly to do that - it's understandable why you reacted the way you did.

I hope you are feeling stronger soon.

xx

UbermoronicismAgain · 12-10-2008, 09:29 PM

I don't think you shouldn't have done it, but by the same token I do see the positives in sticking it out for as long as you can before you get off.
In my bad days I would either have gotten off or I would have asked him what the **** he was looking at. I did the latter quite alot >.<

I think it was very real for you at the time, whether or not you're paranoid is irrelevant. You felt un-happy with the situation and you remedied it.
I think whatever makes YOU feel better is of utmost importance and if you feel unsafe then you simply make yourself feel safer.

I wouldn't worry so much about it anyway, it's not going to affect your life from here on in and I would guess that he probably didn't even notice.

Take care, and don't think too deeply about it unless it becomes a regular occurance.

Iz x

one_step_closer · 13-10-2008, 09:52 AM

I can understand that Katherine, it's scary when people are so close to you and there's not much chance of getting away. If you were so scared then you wouldn't have been able to think of ways that you could have changed the situaon without running away from it. You were trying to keep yourself safe and that is definitely not an over-reaction.

whirlpools · 13-10-2008, 11:49 AM

my general feeling is that if you feel uncomfortable in the presence of another person, especially when you're in a vulnerable place (physically or mentally) it is a good idea to get away and to a safe place as soon as possible. you can then work on the issues with your therapist until you do start to feel safer with other people.

i would say the same to any woman (or anyone at all) that they should listen to their instincts and if they don't feel right then there is no harm in protecting yourself and getting yourself to a safer place.