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Triggering (SI/ED) - im cursed
my apartment is infested with little red fly/gnat thingies and:
i have an interview tomorrow morning and i lost the dress pants that i was going to wear and i am at my mother's house because of the flies but i have no clothes here other than mini skirts and jeans - both great things to wear to interviews hurrah
oh and my roommate apparently was leaving our air conditioner plugged in all day while we were at work, WHILE SHE LEFT HER WINDOWS WIDE OPEN SO THE AIR WOULD NOT "GET STALE," so our electric bill was like gigantic this month
super
how can you not realise that a major appliance like that uses a massive amount of electricity? and what is the point of air conditioning an apartment while NOBODY IS INSIDE OF IT? WITH OPEN WINDOWS? WHAT WAS SHE DOING AIR CONDITIONING THE ENTIRE TOWN?
in other news on friday i am going on holiday to ireland and scotland with my family.
oh god i am so depressed
i dont want to go
i have been secretly wishing that our flight will be cancelled or that something will happen so i dont have to go
i just dont have the energy to do this right now
i am so tired and i want a break
and nobody knows about my SI and my issues right now, least of all my family, and there is no way i can tell them
but i need my space and i am going to need to be making lots of long trips to the bathroom to do things and how am i going to explain that, as well as all the excessive clothes and jewelry, when we arent just going to be in airconditioned buildings? i dont live with my parents and i dont see them all that often (unless plagues of insects descend on my apartment) so until now i have been able to cover things well
but 9 whole days is a long time eep! that is a lot of meals every day to eat in front of other people and i cant do that it is going to be noticeable i know it
i dont think it is that i have an ED exactly but things were just getting out of control and i dont feel comfortable eating in front of other people and i just have very specific ways of eating and sometimes doing things afterwards but not that often and i have cut a lot of foods out of my diet and i know that it would get blown out of proportion
crap that sounds very denialy now that i see it written out
great i have no idea what to do
this is awesome
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