Triggering (SI) - Putting it off...

[Jetes]

Ugh, this is so frustrating...
For the past week or so, I've wanted to come out and tell my friends that I've fallen off the wagon as far as my SH recovery goes. Because I'd like to have their support and to be able to talk to them. Most, if not all, of them know about my history with self-harm, so I don't have a big issue with ignorant behaviour from them.
However, every time I try to write about it on my online journal - my main way of keeping in touch with everyone - I can't seem to find the right words. Then when I read how well things are going for some of them, I don't want to destroy their happiness with my problems. Then there are others who have issues they are going through and my problems seem so insignificant when compared. So I just put it off.
I just can't seem to get my **** together and not see myself as hugely selfish for wanting to write about what is going on.

[Pomegranate]

You are not selfish at all for wanting support from your friends. There will never be an ideal time to tell them what is going on and if you look for one then you will be waiting forever. Be honest and just come straight out with it. They may have even guessed somethings wrong and just not be sure how to approach you.

[Jetes]

Thanks for the encouragement Pomegranate...

I'm starting to think I need someone to stand behind me with a cattle prod to get anything done...

I would offer with the cattle prod side of things..
But as i don't dislike you..i'm not sure i'd beable to prod you with it without feeling horrendously guilty!
Is a stick ok instead?

In all seriousness - you're not selfish for wanting your friends support, or for wanting to write.
A big part of getting better/recovery is talking/asking for support when needed.
Have you thought about writing them a letter instead? Or emailing them?
*big hugs*
Keep your chin up
xx

[sparklyshoes]

It's not selfish, not in the slightest. We all need a little support sometimes, we are only human. When you write your journal, write anything, it doesn't matter what because at the end of the day you are doing it for your benefit, nobody elses. x

[Jetes]

Thanks Dramatic and SparklyShoes for your words of wisdom.

I actually finally managed to write it out, put down how I feel. We'll see what everyone comes back and says. *scared*

[Margo]

Im sure you will find the right words.
If friends are friends are friend then they would rather know than not.

Good luck.

Matthew

[Jetes]

Thanks Matt.

Update:

So far, everyone has come back with messages of support...pretty much saying they'd rather know than not.

I actually feel kind of stupid for being worried now.

[Casper_Fading]

Everyone worries mate, you still did it though! You should be proud of yourself. And i'm glad your friends care ^_^