Triggering (SI/ED) - And I was doing so well

[zowie]

Sorry this ended up quite long.
As some of you may know, last month went really well for me. This is because the new voice (a man) was really supportive of me and told Beth off when she was nasty.
Well, as I've said in a previous post, he's become just as (if not more) nasty as Beth. He keeps threatening to possess me and did on Sunday night. He said he was going to make me stab someone, and I woke up in the middle of the road at about 4am with a knife. I'd cut myself pretty bad, there was blood all over the knife, but as far as I know I didn't stab anyone.
They both keep reminding me how fat I am, so I have started purging again which is horrible. My throat always tastes like sick, and my tummy hurts from the laxatives.
I hurt myself every single day. There's blood all over my bedroom floor and I can't seem to shift it.
I'm actually on leave from the hospital at the moment. I have ward round tomorrow and they want to discharge me, but I don't feel safe enough to be discharged. What do I say to them? They keep saying they don't want me to become instututionalised but I'm so scared I'm going to hurt someone really bad, or kill myself.
I asked to go back to the hospital yesterday and they didn't have a bed, so they wont let me back today either. They just want me to come into ward round and be discharged.
I feel like I have absolutely no control anymore. I don't know what to do, I'm going out of my head. Please help me

[shadowedseraph]

Oh honey *snuggles* you have to tell them how bad it is. Print out your post and show it to them if you can't find the words, we're all here for you

[alienshe_cheesycake]

I agree with shadowedseraph
You need to let the people in charge of your care know how bad things are for you at the minute
They have a duty of care to look after you and I'm sure if you explain what you have written in your post to them they will listen to your concerns

*big hugs*
I'm really sorry things are so **** for you at the mo hun
but we are all here to listen if you need to talk
xxxxxxxx

[RazorKissBrad]

Its been said but you really need to tell people who can take care of you how bad it is getting. Its bad enough that you are really really a danger to yourself but if you are becoming a danger to others then it is starting to come to a whole new level. Before you do something that you can't take back and can't change for the rest of your life, get the help now, help yourself. Do it for yourself.

I really hope this isn't sounding critical, I am just worried for you, I don't want you to have to suffer anymore.