I don't know where to put this so i'm going by my first guess that it should go here? Well anyways mods feel free to move it. I put possible trigger cause i understand this may for some people bring back memories of something or whatever
Last night i went out for a ride in the car, cause i was bored. Loads of ambulances went past with their sirens going and blue lights flashing and i selfishly the first thing i thought was "I wish it was for me" "I wish it was me lying there waiting for that ambulance to come along and take me away" Does anyone else get like this? It's not like i want to be in hospital or anything, i'd never call an ambulance unless i serioulsly needed it, i don't wanna be a time waster but i always wish it was for me. I'm such a freak I had a dream last night that an ambulance came to get me and the sad thing is i somehow enjoyed the dream, i was dying in the dream and yet it was the best dream i felt i had in a long time. When i woke up i tried to continue the dream in my head but it wasn't the same. Am i a freak? I'd hate to think i was just an attention seeker anyone else experenience anything like it? I actually hate the idea of being the centre of atention it makes me feel uncomftable...but this would seem likei wanted to be centre of attenion
I think it shows that you want to be taken care of, everyone has basic human needs, including needing to be taken care of. I have thought the same things as you have described, and I know others have to, so there is no way you're a 'freak'
Ambulances to many people symbolise something, rescue, help, support, dependancy etc.
There is nothing attention seeking about your thoughts, its entirly natural to want to be cared for.
*hugs*
xx
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I had to read you post a few times to make sure that I hadn't written it in my sleep or something weird like that. I was the EXACT same way. For me it was wanting to be part of the action, being bored, and wanting to have meaning in my life - even if that meant that it came from someone else.
So I kind of took the drastic route and went back to school to be an EMT. Now I'm in an ambulance 24/7/365.
So, yea that cured that issue.
I would find other ways to take care of yourself. Take an hour a day to do something that you like. Don't just take a walk around your neighborhood, but go to the park and find a favorite place. Or if you're in it for the adreneline go to an amusement park and ride some rollercoasters or if that really just doesn't cut it, skydive.
I am very much like that, it's like I envy the other person getting the ambulence simply because I want to be there being cared for. Being cared for is something I crave yet have difficulty accepting and when I have been in an ambulence for overdoses or when I lost too much blood it fullfilled some of that need. I too would never call out an ambulence unless it was vital.
You are definately not alone
"I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same too so we are not that different you and I.
You'll be surprised to know how far you can go from the point where you thought it was the end.
You aren't a freak at all. I get exactly where you're coming from. I've had similar feelings in the past. I'd be more interested to know why you're feeling like this atm, why it's come up in a dream as well. I will try and reply better when I'm not so tired.
{Matt}
I totally understand where you're coming from... maybe you want to feel like someone cares for you, and is taking care of you. You're not a freak anyway, I feel much the same way.
why is it that you're feeling that you're unaccepted?
i do know the feeling very well, it sounds stupid i even felt unaccpted around rylers one time
Caz x
It's a complicated thing, to do with gender and illness. I don't always feel that accetped on here yet, but that might be because i#ve yet to make many friends on here due to shyness, depressive thought and paranoia, paranoia leading to me not trying as hard to get to know people and such things.
I had a dream last night that an ambulance came to get me and the sad thing is i somehow enjoyed the dream, i was dying in the dream and yet it was the best dream i felt i had in a long time. When i woke up i tried to continue the dream in my head but it wasn't the same. Am i a freak? I'd hate to think i was just an attention seeker 
anyone else experenience anything like it? I actually hate the idea of being the centre of atention it makes me feel uncomftable...but this would seem likei wanted to be centre of attenion 
