Triggering (SI/Suicide) - ARRGH Never being that honest again!

littlelou · 03-10-2008, 01:41 PM

Well i was completely honest at my second assessment with the psychotherapies person. told her i'd considered driving my car off the road so it would look like an accident and that i hadnt meant it and that i'd been cutting again. couldnt stop crying while i was there.
she then made me come back to see her after my appointment which caused some problems with childcare and with my partner. she wanted me to see the community mental health people but i had to go through the gp so she had called them and arranged for me to see them.
the gp then asked me loads of questions and decided to send me to the psychiatric hospital bout 30 miles from where i stay. needless to say my gf was a wreck by then which made me feel ten times worse.
so we went for them to assess me which is what the gp said and that they probably wont keep me in.
then the shrink starts talking bout possibly keepin me in overnight which sets my gf off again (she sitting in with me listening) as shes got a really bad back and i help her get out of bed etc in the mornings and she wouldnt be able to cope with out me.
anyway eventually they let me go home cos i kept telling them that i wouldnt do anything cos i couldnt do that to my gf or her kid. which is kinda true cos it would be spur of the moment if i did anything.
now today my gf is really wound up and anxious and wanted to hurt herself cos she's done that before too.
he only let me go after wanting see my cuts and said he was going to refer me to the community team and get them to call me today. ill believe that when it happens.

wish i hadnt said anything to anyone. will teach me to keep my mouth shut next time.
sorry kinda long rant.

Casper_Fading · 04-10-2008, 12:58 AM

I'm glad you were honest. It shows you the truth that you DO need help. I know you're worried about your gf but if they really think that you need that much help then you do. They don't over react! *cuddles* i'm glad you're being referred and I hope they do call. *cuddles* please try and sta safe and let them help you.

littlelou · 06-10-2008, 08:29 PM

well no big shock that noones been in contact with me didnt think they would. never mind. they never gave me a number of who to contact either so dont know what i'll do if i dont hear from them.

still hanging on in here just. been really hard over the weekend cos the gf been worrying herself sick about me and we both really arent coping at all.
just wish my head would stop for a while.

roiben · 07-10-2008, 08:56 PM

*huggles* I am glad you were honest. I know you may not be right now, but it shows that they do think you need help. I would say call your gp and see if there is a number you can call for a local cmht or sommat, it will mean not staying somewhere overnight, but still being able to get a level of support. For you, and for your gf.

Roiben

littlelou · 08-10-2008, 08:06 PM

well i heard from them yesterday and going to meet eith a CPN on next tues. not sure how i feel bout that or anything at the mo, its all shoved back in its box. my gf wont stop stressing that their gonna lock me up and its making her anixety n si worse.

wish i could go back and just pretend everything was fine when i met that woman then none of this would be happening.

Margo · 08-10-2008, 09:03 PM

You did the right thing. Good luck withe the CPN

Kahlia1981 · 09-10-2008, 09:38 AM

I'm also glad you were honest. You did do the right thing as I know has been said, no matter how hard it is. Good luck with the CPN.