Triggering (SI) - fuck it!!!

emily.disenchanted · 27-06-2007, 11:56 AM

I was feeling really good today, I spent ages talking to a friend on skype and even was social and chatty over dinner, BUT now I feel like shit and there is no two ways about it I haven't cut since April. I have been fiddling with my knife all evening like since I got home even when I wasn't feeling like the end of the world. I don't know what to do I really desperately want to cut but at the same time don't. Its like an itch I need to scratch but I know if I do I wont be able to stop..... I need distractions, happy distractions and I don't have any.....

I feel like shit I want the blood to run I need it and I need it really badly. I need that blade against my skin I want to see the proof, It was only yesterday I was talking with a lady at the chemist about what fades scars seems I don't give a fuck just now.

I know why, its because I lent across to turn out the lights, I caught my wrist on something I don't even know what , all it is is a tiny scratch but now I cant shake it I want to make it a million times worse. I need to but where............................................. ................

someone needs to help me because I am too fucking pathetic to do it myself

Anansi · 27-06-2007, 01:22 PM

Sweetie! -cuddle-
You're doing so well, and slip-ups are common in getting better, but you can resist this if you try.
You say you ahve no distractions, have you tried the games here on RYL? Or something else, like an instrument you play, a film you could watch, anything at all?

The fact that you asked a chemist about fading scars proves that you are strong enough to do this.
I'm here if you need me. Emma. x

felix felicis · 27-06-2007, 02:12 PM

Hiya hunny. :)
Well done on not cutting since April, that really is an amazing achievment!
Everyone gets urges to cut from time to time, and these are all part of helping yourself quit.. Even self-harmers that haven't cut for years still get urges; it's getting over these urges that makes you stronger.
Take a look at 'The Big Distraction Page' or The RYL Arcade for some distractions.

Stay strong Sweetie. :)
Emily. xx

surprising mystery · 27-06-2007, 06:48 PM

I just wanted to post these links..

http://allfunnystuff.com/content.php?type=viewed&iid=989&cid=32

http://www.venushairhouston.com/al_littleguys.htm

http://allfunnystuff.com/content.php?type=viewed&iid=54&cid=29

http://allfunnystuff.com/content.php?type=viewed&iid=1364&cid=29

Take care, you can do this, since april proves it. xxx