honesty with my doctor

guiltyinnocence · 27-09-2008, 07:31 PM

im seeing my doctor on wednesday..seeing him every two weeks to get my meds is the only support i get at the moment.
thing is things are getting really bad and i dont know what to do.
im struggling to just look after myself. get out of bed, make food, wash..just everyday things. suicidal thoughts are constantly in my head..i dream about suicide..i think, i plan. iv looked up what dose of my meds is needed to kill myself. and i dont know how much longer i can keep fighting against myself for. but im terrified of being honest with my doctor..yet i know seeing him on wednesday is my last hope..i just dont know what to do..
i suppose im just asking for a bit of advice really..
thanks xx

Stellata · 27-09-2008, 07:36 PM

Be honest with him.
Here's there to help you. Maybe he can tweak your meds to help bring you some relief.
He also may be able to refer you on for the further support that you so clearly need.

guiltyinnocence · 27-09-2008, 09:07 PM

im just scared i suppose. i mean what can he really do to help anyway? and i dont want to end up in hospital again. and what if he just thinks im being pathetic? i know he probably wont cus hes really nice but theres always the possibility he might. i just feel so lost and confused and scared

l'il esky · 27-09-2008, 10:01 PM

i'm glad you have a good doctor that is supporting you throughout this....it really helps! how long have you been on the meds now? and how often has the doseage been changed?
the first 2 ADs i was on i didnt really feel any change at all except feeling really really sick. the one im on now which i think is totally fab i have noticed that the first 2 weeks i feel MAJORLY suicidal and that aint really something i tend to suffer with... then a couple of wks ago i had the dose increased and again i plumited and the thoughts return, now coming through the other side i feel good (ish) again

asking for help and support is really the only way you are going to get through this...be honest with the doctor...it feels so much better when they know everything and dont have to explain everything. seriously if i had realised this 11 years ago i may not be in the mess i am now. good and non judgemental dr's who you trust dont come along that often and it sounds like you got a good 'un.

i dont know how old you are but could you asked to be referred to the nhs community mental health team so you can get further help that you need but to avoid going back into hospital.

feel free to pm me anytime xx holly xx

Aidee · 28-09-2008, 01:33 AM

I agree that it is important to be honest with him. It may be that you need to try a different medication or the dose needs to be adjusted. Unless you tell your doctor how you are feeling he has no way of knowing how the meds are working.

Like someone said above, he may also be able to refer you to additional counseling for some extra help right now.

guiltyinnocence · 28-09-2008, 04:14 AM

thank you so much for your replies, they mean alot!
iv not been on these meds for very long, i was on them last year for a few months and they did nothing so im not sure why theyv put me back on them, but im working with my doctor and taking them and seeing what happens.
i dont think my local nhs mental health team will take me on...im going to sound stupid but i think i spoke to them a few weeks ago..but im not sure, iv been very disaccociated recently.
i know iv got to be honest. i just really struggle with trust and opening up. but i know iv got to tell him, i cant cope like this anymore
thanks again for the replies, i do really appreciate them

Stellata · 28-09-2008, 08:16 AM

Is there anything in particular that's been triggering your dissociation? What happens when you dissociate?