On the one side, i have an amazing best friend, we have so much fun together, sure weve had a rocky past, a year and a half relationship and many fall outs, but were great together, and its fantastic
Thats only when the mood is up
When the mood is down, different story alltogether
I still love her, painfully so, but she's got her boyfriend, the bastard that stole her from me, that made me make the gut wrenching decision to end our relationship cause i couldnt take her and him flirting anymore. And thats all i can think about, her and him. Together. Kissing. Hugging. Doing the things i dont even in a million years wanna have to think about. And yet theyre sat right in front of my face, everyday, tormenting me.
It hurts so much, i cant help but cry most nights, i dont have many friends, hardly any that i can talk to about my pain, except her. But, i cant talk to her about this can i!!! she knows im hurt by it all but niot even half of what she thinks. I just dont know what to do...i havnt been able to get over her for so long...and the horrible thing is i dont want too, cause i cant imagine spending my life with anyone other then her...and the sad thing is since the break up she's told me exactly the same. But did she meen it? Maybe, it torments me and makes me feel sick no matter what.
I dont understand what to do, tell her enoguh is enough and walk away. Making me free from her, but losing my best friend, and really hurting her as well? Or staying with her, but getting hurt constantly, but still having some good days? Why oh why oh why is this the way it has to be, why did you have to fall in love with him...it was so perfect
I think it miight help if you tried to put a little distance between yourselves so you can try and sort out where you go from here. I know you probably don't want to hear this right now and maybe thinking that she will end things with this new bloke and things will go back to the way they were between the pair of you...but you also need to consider that she may just settle down with this new bloke for sometime. I guess you could also try talking to her and letting her know really how you feel, there is a chance she will get angry and accuse you of being jealous etc but if you have a good relationship she will understand your concerns and might make sure that when all of you are together she's not all over him infront of you - if that makes sense.
Whichever way you go, you need to do what's right for you, I don't think its very healthy you carrying on like this, not when its obvious how much pain your in...I was once told this don't know if it will help at all but here goes 'sometimes you have to let the people you love go'
i have this long time feeling that she's just been stringing me along, she told me a while back that she did want to be with me and that she wanted a future with me, but she couldnt leave him and that i should just try wait it out...which i went ahead with, and we began to get really flirty, making not so jokey remarks etc, and i began to realise that this is the same that she did to me, but now she's doing it to him
so i told her im ending the flirtyness cause she couldnt do it...i wish i hadnt, cause now i feel even more alone
i have left her once before, for a month or so i walked away and stopped talking to her, and tried having my own life, but it didnt work, i was quite down most the time, not really pulling myself together, i did find another girlfriend but that ended quickly. and then i found out she was suicidal cause of it, so i had to go back, i had no other choice.
i've had my fair share of depression, suicide attempts, self harm and what not, but out of all of it this hurts the most. being so close to the one that i love, yet not being able to express it.
it's hard losing someone like that. because it sounds like she wasn't just your girlfriend, she was a big chunk of your life; your social life, your relationship-life, whatever. and, when you know someone that long, its hard as hell to move on because everything around you reminds you of her.
it sounds like...and i could be wrong, here, but...it sounds like you could benefit from just clearing your head and getting around some new people. you can let yourself hurt for a while, mourn the loss, and start creating connections with new people, and making new memories.
this whole relationship sounds like it's been knotted and stretched and tangled up...maybe both of you could use time apart so you can remember where she ends and you begin.
i totally understand what you meen but i wish it was just that easy
i dont wanna walk away from her, she's very emotionally unstable and doing something like that would trigger her and make her do horrible things
i would love to meet some new people, and i have tried too, but i dont meet anybody i really get on with, just people i chat too for like 10 mins then they sod off somewhere
i think my main problem is that im lonely, and i dont have much to do in my spare time cause all my friends go to school and are constantly busy with schoolwork and bf's/gf's etc, i never get any time in.
How's things going? I think it's great that you care so much about a mate, however I'm concerned that you are better her way before your own health. I'm only concerned because this doesn't appear to be doing you any favours right now and you are really suffering.
I think she needs to decided what she wants out of this relationship with you - are you either mates, b/f & g/f or should you be going your own seperate ways. It seems to me that she is manipulating you a bit and almost doesn't want to loose you just incase this other relationship doesn't work out. This may sound harsh and I mean no ill of her, but I think she may be either blackmailing you with you 'having' to go back to her because she felt suicidal over you and her not talking for a month or so. I think you probably need to consider why you keep running back to her, is it because you think she needs you or simply because you don't want her to go off and be happy with someone else...
Take care mate, your not a pest in the slightest and I'm sorry if anything i've said upsets you
