stigma - rant, but would like some support/reassurance *possibly triggering*

Stellata · 21-09-2008, 10:34 AM

Someone at work was saying all ‘mad people’ should be locked up. All those, you know, ‘psycho people who hear things’.

Apparantly I don’t come into that. Depression isn’t what she sees as ‘mad’.
How does she know I’ve not heard voices? [I have, in times of severe stress]
And even if not, it’s the… way she said it.

Then she got very defensive because apparantly her mum’s had suicidal depression too, so ’she knows exactly what I’m going through’.
Really?

Well, for her information - not all ‘mad’ people are homicidal. Or even if they have the feelings, they don’t act on it. Just because we lose touch with present day reality now and again doesn’t mean we should be locked up forever.

It was about a march in London today for children murdered by a so called ‘mad person’.

I’m not being heartless. Sorry if I seem so. It’s just that such derogatory words and global judgements make my blood boil.
I’m not saying that what this man did wasn’t wrong. I’m not saying that.

What I’m saying is that it’s insensitive and inaccurate to sideline all people who hear voices in that way. All the more so when you hear voices - as it were - because you’ve been traumatised and abused yourself.
If she knew what a struggle it is for me to keep going, to keep functioning, to not give in to my shadow side and break down completely. If she knew how close I’d been… if she knew how hard I work so as not to be hospitalised.

How can I best speak to this person [who I only see on Saturdays, and won't for a while after next week]? Or indeed anyone else who says such things. I never know what to say without feeling ashamed and humiliated.

shadowedseraph · 21-09-2008, 11:35 AM

I hate people like that. Luckily i have never had the pleasure of meeting/knowing someone with that particular bias so i cant really give advice but i can give *hugs* on having to deal with them

Shenanigans · 21-09-2008, 12:56 PM

I'm so sorry that this person is so close-minded about mental illness *safe hugs* it must be very stressful and agrivating to have to work with someone like that.

Hopefully the subject won't be brought up again, but if it does try not to get yourself upset ok? Her views are not the views of every person in the world, she probably doesn't understand very much about mental illness at all which is why she falls on the "they're all bonkers" thought pattern. It is easier to bunch everyone together under one bracket than see them as inderviduals with problems she doesn't understand.

I'm sorry I don't have much advice for what to say to this person about this situation. Please take care and not take her words to heart, there are a lot of kind people who understand mental illness in the world, and one of them is worth 200 of her.
Xxx

nowhereman · 21-09-2008, 04:30 PM

Like alternate reality said, people only hear about mental illness when something bad like that happens. which is very unfortunate. What about all the people who've overcome their illness and gone on to lead successful lives, we never hear about those. I'm sorry she said that to you, that must have been very hard for you. At the end of the day, you know you're a good person who just happens to have an illness which isn't your fault, so try not to get too upset by her comments, as hard as that may be.

Becca · 21-09-2008, 05:12 PM

Can you trying googling for famous people who have had mental illness and are still in the public eye? Like Stephen Fry for instance.

I have issues myself (as you know) *but* I realised recently that I have throughout my entire life heard things talking to me that other people don't. I have heard conversations for example between animals. When I talked to others about it it was laughed off. I never realised others don't hear it. They aren't plotting anything, it isn't anything horrific like 'she' is, but just everyday conversation.

Tig · 21-09-2008, 05:37 PM

I think stigma is terrible & can be very hard to cope with. *Hugs*

I always think, when people are blaming people with mental health problems for what they did (which can sometimes be horrific things), the question should really be : why wasn't the person helped and what barriers were there that stopped the person being treated or hospitalised to prevent such things.

l'il esky · 21-09-2008, 07:13 PM

i know what you mean, i work as a podiatrist for the nhs, we work in clinic and do home visits(alone) so anyone that we view a "danger" to us we can red flag them and make sure there is 2 of us going into treat them for our safety.

i saw someone a few months ago when i was at work, and i was quite scared of him... he has scitsophrenia (sorry i cant spell) which didnt bother me, but it was some of the things he said and we use scapels so i was really careful and sort of explained to him that if he didnt want me to hurt him or me he needed to try and stay really still. so did the treatment and wrote that i would like him to be red flagged.
then a helper that we have it to archive notes for us, made some horrible comment about how we shouldnt have to treat anyone with mental health problems cos it puts us at risk.
so holly got on high horse and said that surely ANYone has the right to treatment, we red flag so we are more aware of people we think could possibly cause a risk, but not so they get different treatment. i then went on to say that i have had depression in the past (and currently, altho she didnt need to know that) so should i not be treating or eligible for treatment. alot of people with mental health problems are far more likely to hurt themselves than hurt others...... also esp in my job the people that are "labelled" are far less likely to hurt us/cause any problems than the ones who are just so called "normal" ones.

was so cute after the treatment cos the guy came back again and said he had never been pain free after a treatment and gave me a high five.... i was like THAT is what the job is about :)

jut annoys me how they put every person with a label in the same bag!

sorry rant over :s

Steel Maiden · 23-09-2008, 01:55 PM

I HATE it when people say that.

Paranoid schizophrenia has been hugely mis-represented in the news to the point that if I were to tell my neighbour about my paranoid schizophrenia, she probably would move out of her house or get an injunction against me.

Although this is minor, I was excluded from going on school trips after my diagnosis. The school made up some sh*t about the trips being too overwhelming for me, but I knew perfectly well that they didn't want a paranoid schizophrenic on their trips and nor did the school's insurance company.

I feel ostracised and I feel like I have to hide this burning secret inside me, its almost as if I have killed someone.

Sorry to hijack your thread, but I know exactly what you are talking about and it is horrible for us all.

If only we could raise awareness about these illnesses and show the people out there that depression/schizophrenia/bipolar/manic depression/etc do not make us monsters that will eat your children alive while you sleep.

Stellata · 23-09-2008, 03:40 PM

Thanks everyone.
I told my disabilities coordinator and my line manager [who's kind of my work care coordinator type person, really] today.
I'll update and reply properly when I get home.

Becca · 23-09-2008, 04:13 PM

Good I'm glad you were able to do that.

Stellata · 23-09-2008, 05:49 PM

Uh.
It's really stirred things up.
I kept going dizzy in the meeting, and was a bit dissociated.

They were really empathic, and said that what the person had said was unacceptable.
I was asking them the best way for me to respond - I'm so used to derogatory comments [re-traumatisation sucks] that I know I can't change people - but they were saying it's not my fault, and that the person's attitudes need to change.
The dc even said I could make a formal complaint - but neither her nor I really want to go that way. To be honest I was shocked that it was taken as seriously.

We decided that when that place re-opens, I'll meet with the staff and explain my situation, put my illness in context, and so forth. [Like I did for the staff at the stock office a while back.]
I've also volunteered to write a decent mental health section for the disabilities training/awareness module thing.

I feel really vulnerable.

They thanked me for trusting them by telling them.
I really had to pluck up courage though, as I felt really self conscious.

I'll post up my writing for the mh piece when I've done it.

Porcelain Child · 23-09-2008, 06:02 PM

I get really angry about that too.. although down the road from us, we have someone who is schizophrenia, and for some strange reason he hates dogs... and he got one of the air pistols thingys... and he seems to come in to our garden and pick my dog up by his legs and threaten to shoot him and also he shot out clothes when its on the washing line... not sure why though... we have called the police a few times on him... but they never take the gun of him, or arrest him... and it is a bit scary... so i kinda agree that some people need to be kept safe so they don't do bad things but also it makes me angry when people say things like that... it makes me want to shout at them and point out that they have no idea... in mental health at all...