recently i keep having them... i get really short of breath and get completely stressed... i cry uncontrollably and just think about cuts being on my arm... i don't think about the cutting, just having the cuts and the relief that they would bring... the more i panic, the more i think about them, and the more i think about them the more i panic.
my thoughts are going really fast, like i am tripping up on them. i keep retyping typos because i am thinking about the next sentence before i even finish the one before... it is exhausting but i can't stop. my heart is racing.
As part of that, it can help to slow your mind down enough to figure out what's going on for you. Make note of the thoughts and feelings - drawing can help too.
Focusing on calming and reassuring yourself - wrapping yourself up in a duvet, blanket or scarf.
Crying's good, because it relieves the pressure and frozeness inside.
i have had lots of change in my life recently - lots of friends have moved on from japan, and i know that i have to seriously consider how long i am going to be here. thinking about the future is difficult. i have no idea where i will go from here.
Perhaps you could write down ideas for how you want to move forward when you are not in a panic attack frame of mind.
One thing that I find helps when I feel bad is to remind myself that it cant last forever statistically and practically speaking even though it feels like the hurt will never stop
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I struggle with panic attacks too and what helps me is counting and breathing. The paramedics taught me to breathe in for 4, hold for 2 and out for 5. That works because it calms down the physical symptoms and also gives you something to focus on other than what you are panicking about.
Trace has really good advice. and the breathing thing DOES work. it may not work the first time because it takes a while for your body to respond. but just keep doing it and it WILL work. ive practiced it alot.
*squishes you*
loves.
xxxxx
A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
just wanted to how you are now?? Panic/anxiety attas are horrid; i suffer them too badly. Im on two AA's because they ar awful at times.
Just wanteyou to know you arent alone at ll and hopinthe breathing will help...im going to try too.
i am ok today... i have had quite an emotional year so far... everything is building up... i was promised that september 14th would be a day for answers and basically it didn't happen. which is an answer in itself. and now i need to make alternative plans which upset me and stressed me out.
last time i cut was oct 31st 07 so we are approaching the one year anniversary and i am building it up a bit too much in my head and not quite believing i will get there.
today i am super high... my heart is still racing and i am doing everything too fast... i have been running to tr y and get it under control, but i am babbling like you wouldn't believe. i just walked back from the train station and was talking to myself all the way. i pretended to be on the phone so as not to freak other passers by out... i have a tendency to speak out loud in response to my thoughts and have no control over it.
i know it is a high before a crash - which is good (because i know it) and bad (becayse the crash will be terrible)... this has gone on for so long that the patterns are almost boring by now. day of depression followed by a high, followed by a week/month/indefinite amount of time of blackness.
BAH... i will get through this. but i wanted to say something first, in case i need help.
We're here to help and listen when the crash does come. And now since you know it is coming.
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
i had to go to work for NINE HOURS today... nine hours of pretending to work. nine hours of moving paper around my desk. nine hours of talking to myself and then thanking the goddesses that i am the only person in my office who speaks english. damn i say some foul stuff when i am high.
and then foolishly went to the bar after work - needed to have people time to see if that helped me... it didn't my friend was talking and i was NOT LISTENING... i was counting the ways i could cook eggs, i was looking at my phone every MINUTE to see what time it was. i stood up once every five minutes to "stretch my legs", i kept calling the bar man over to talk to him. i stopped her mid sentence to start a new conversation on a completely unrelated subject. i kept talking about me. she would talk about me and i would tell her off for talking about me and so she would change the subject and i would talk about me agian.
OH MY GOD I AM GOING EVEN MORE MAD.
tis just gone 11pm here... and i am definitely not going to be sleeping tonight.
i understand how much panic attacks suck. it's the worst feeling in the world. i get them too.
the things is to try and be kind to yourself and give yourself time to relax. a nice relaxing bath or some nice background music can really give your mind a well earned break.
are you seeing a psychiatrist or other professional about the highs and lows. it could be a bipolar illness or other mental disorder. i would get that checked out if you haven't done so already. if you have then maybe a medication change or review is needed.
hope this helps,
nathan
"For those who fight for it, life has a flavour the sheltered never know"
-Pinned to a noticeboard at the US Command Post in Khe Sanh.
i feel like i am holding on to the top of a cliff and if i let go i will crash into the darkness. i think the panic attacks are a symptom of me trying not to crash. i fainted on a train yesterday in an attempt not to freak out. woke up to a thousand faces talking to me in japanese.
i came off my meds a few years ago... in discussion with my doctor... she didn't want me to but supported me through it. now i live in japan i have a doctor here, but i never go - japanese mental health care is... well... non existent.
i see a psychologist here regularly - he is british, so no language barrier, and he is great. i have an appointment later today.
my sister is coming to visit for three weeks from tomorrow - i am hoping that will be the lift that i need to get me back on top of this cliff.
basically wanted you to know that i am basically playing the waiting game, but feel a little bit positive about getting through this. the panic attacks are new but i prefer them to the depressive states i get.
Your sister coming to visit should help alot. I dont know much about your situation, so sorry for butting in :s Being far away from friends and family is maybe why your feeling a bit more panicky than usual?
Take care & hope you feel better xx
