Triggering (SI) - Coping with scars on show in public?
I've had all sorts of things said to me over the past 12 years that I have been self harming. I have even been spat at.
However I had an encounter with a shop keeper last week which may sound really harsh but it was so far out that I thought it was quite amusing!
So, I went into the shop with the scars on my arms and legs on show - nothing unusual there - I rarely cover my scars - I refuse to wear clothes covering my scars just because society's principles deem that I cover up. Im 26 and want to dress like Im 26 and not an OAP.
Anyhow, the shop keeper came up to me, looked me up and down and said 'goodness me, whats happened to you?' I replied that I had been in the wars. She then said, 'well anyone who looked like you would stay in bed all day every day and never leave the house. Youre very brave. Very brave'. And with that she went off to serve another customer.
I had to pick my jaw off the floor and see the funny side (if you dont laugh you cry) and I chuckled to myself all the way home.
Any other strange/funny tales out there?!!
How do you guys cope with being out in public with your scars on show?
Or do you feel unable to show your scars?
Thought this might be an interesting thread!!
Last edited by fragile as glass : 14-09-2008 at 09:15 PM.
Reason: wrong wording
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
what an odd thing for her to say!
i'm going to uni with stuff on show today, something i don't often do, but it's hot so i refuse to boil to death just so society doesn't have to feel uncomfortable.
will let you know if anyone says anything!!
i've had a few nasty comments in the past but as you said if you dont laugh you cry.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
You know... I think that's actually such a true statement... each day getting up and about is an achievement! She may not have meant it that way but it's still a lovely way to look at it.
i have had lots of negative comments. but generally i just don't give a rats :P
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
i've started to go out the last 2 days with my scars on show and ya know what i love it so so so much it was amazing to feel the cool air on my skin the breeze was amazing ..
yea people looked at me like i was a total freak , but i dont care i just stared rite back and if they continued i just said sumit funny and sly to them that made them feel so stupid
i always cover my scars unless im going to see my psych or therapist.
a few years back...i didnt care if people saw them but ive become paranoid again.
loves.
xxxxx
A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
You know, that is actually a good way to look at it. I do struggle to get up each day and often dont care if I was to get run over by a bus. I know she didnt mean it in the way that you have interpreted it but yeah, she was closer to the mark than I thought.
effervescence, id be interested to know how you got on. Hold your head high and be proud!!
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
i accidentally timed it with our first psychology lecture about mental illness so in that lecture i felt like everyone was looking at me, but in reality i dont think they were. i got a couple of funny looks but no comments yay!
i am proud that i did it though.
next step will be to let my doctor and psych see - this freaks me out just as much but am seeing dr tomorrow so if it's hot i shall wear shorts and we'll see what happens!
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
I try not to show mine, makes me feel even more paranoid then usual (think everyone is looking at them). What do other guys on here do out of interest?
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Memento Mori
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Live your dream? Or Dream your life?
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I can't hug people in real life and online it makes me feel like a lier.
I show the scars on my arms, but since they are mostly in one place I cover most of them up with a wristband... but there's about 10-20 quite bad ones that people can see, and I've had looks.
I just say, 'It was the cat,' and then laugh madly. It scares everyone away!
"How can I be a gynecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!"
♥
Honestly? I think that was a wonderful thing she said....you HAVE been in a war and you ARE brave by not only getting thru it , but by not being ashamed of it! This is inspiring to me actually.
I have had looks, but never any comments...at least not to my face, i have had ppl look , then whisper to whoever they are with..but im with Jess, i dont care anymore!!! (well ....MOST of the time...sometimes the paranoia creeps in too and i cant....)
I go in and out of being able to show my scars. Sometimes I think what the hell and roll my sleeves up but when I see someone walking towards me I roll them back down. I'm not as brave as u guys. Think it's coz members of my own family have told me to cover up my scars when I see them. It makes them uncomfortable. Has knocked my confidence a little. Admire those of you who can wear what u like!
Yet if you should forget me for a while,
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
By Christina Rossetti
I have never been out with my scars on show and can't understand how anyone can do it and still feel comfortable. I have thought about it over the years but in reality only as far as the front door.
I really wish that I could be more like those of you that are strong enough to do it.
Thanks romperfly, ive never viewed myself as brave before. Ive always looked on it as me being defiant and therefore deserving any troubles that come with showing my scars.
My mother will happily tell her neighbours that im anorexic but not that im a self harmer as well!! She also has refused to walk into sainsburys with me before unless i covered up my scars! That really hurt.
I once had a mental health worker tell me that it was all my own doing when i told him that ive been spat at and called names and laughed at in the street because of having my scars on show.
He said if i didnt like those reactions i should cover myself up and that would sort the problem. I was furious with him and said that i wore what i wanted out of principle as much as anything else to which he said i only have myself to blame.
It did make me wonder if he was right :(
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I admire all those of you that can wear clothes that show your scars in public. I can't even begin to imagine myself doing that. I hope to one day have some of that strength.
But Luke remember the day when we counted how many people stared at my scars...wasn't it over 200?, I'm fine in short sleeves most day's, but sometimes the staring does get too much
i show my arms... people often ask - "what happened" and i say something along the lines of "i got burned when i was younger" - complete truth but mostly people assume it was an accident - and those that don't stare at me very thoughtfully before making the decision to not ask any further questions.
i wore a bikini for the first (and second) time this year. first time was with a friend who i talked to about my fears before hand... he was great and we had an awesome day. second was with people from work. i ended up keeping board shorts on so the worst scars were hidden for most of the day, although they saw more than i realised. but there doesn't seem to be any office gossip.
