Advice on telling parents that your not doing good
As the title says, any tips on telling your parents that you are not doing so great.
Im not doing so well and last time i was like this my mum only found out when i phoned from the hospital to say i had been admitted. so i think it would be better if i approach the subject now just incase, just need some tips on how to approach it.
how about something like: 'mum do you remember last time... things are getting more and more like that again'
I think it is good you are going to tell your mum. I never told my mum anything and it really ruined my relationship with her. I didn't think of it at the time, but she felt really hurt that I'd never confided in her and the first she knew about things was when she got a call I'd been admitted (same as you!). It took years and years to repair the damage that'd been caused to our relationship.
Im aiming to tell her on wednesday. I have a therapy appointment on thursday so if i tell her the day before it shouldnt be to long coping with her knowing before i speak to my therapist.
Do you live with your folks? If so chances are they may have already twigged.
If not... well my mother usually tries to get some kind of info out of me on the phone "how are things?"
Sometimes it's easier to talk about the more tangible things first - being tired, not sleeping etc... can lead onto a conversation about other things.
I wish my mum asked how things where. We do still live together.
Last time i tried to broach the subject, i got "join the club" or your not the only one with problems. meh, we shall see how it plays out.
Good luck wit telling your parents and I also want to say well done for deciding to tell them now, that takes a lot of courage. I too have in the past only told mine when I was being admitted. Recently when I was feeling bad again I just tld my mam that I felt terrible and like I did before and she knew what I meant I think by that, maybe you could say something like that and then she can ask questions if she has any about exactly how you're feeling and stuff. I hope it works out for you and you can get the help you need and deserve.
i got nothing kim. my parents were the ultimate in crappiness to tell... but with my grandma (i lived with ehr during the worst of it) when I was crashing, I would just tell her that things were caving and I may or may not end up in hospital and then i'd run off...
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
My parents have found out I was having problems first when my mom read my journal last year, and later when my school called them cause I'd told my therapist something that resulted in the health center giving me the choice of either letting them call my parents, or going to the hospital. So I'd recommend not going about it either of those ways :)
I agree with the people who said you could try writing a letter. Or maybe put some of it in writing, and also say in the letter that you want to talk to her about it, depending on how much you want to actually talk with her about it, versus just having her know what's going on for you. Another thing is that it might help to kind of schedule a time to sit down and talk about it, like tell her you need to talk to her, and ask if you can talk after dinner, or something like that.
The other thing is that if she dismisses what you're telling her like you said she did before, maybe you can give your therapist permission to talk to her about specific things? My therapist talks to my mom sometimes (although I have kind of the opposite problem, so it's usually to assure my mom I'm making progress and am not suicidal and such), and she usually believes my therapist more than she does me, but I guess helps that my mom is also a therapist, so she kinda respects the profession more than some people do. I don't know, it's just a thought.
Also, if for whatever reason you end up not talking to her on Wednesday, or it doesn't seem to get through to her or whatever, it might help to ask your therapist for advice with how to talk to her as well.
Emily
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Im going to write a letter to her, i dont want to talk in person with her, it would make me worse right now, i can prolly shrug off simple answers.
Im also going to email my therapist, that way i cant back out of telling her whats really going on. I just need to word it so she dosnt worry to much about me otherwise she will drag me in as soon as she gets my email. urgh. Fun times planed eh.
Does anyone know if your doctor can arrange for you to go into hospital or does it need to be a psych?
I know GP's are involved with sectioning and things, so I think they can ask for emergency assessments to see if you can go in voluntary, at least that's what my GP has mentioned before.
I know that here to get slapped with the mental health act (being sectioned) you have to be assessed by two shrinks (asswipes). i don't think you're doctor can do it. Don't know bout ovee there!
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
*sends hugs* i def agree with the letter idea. i do that aall the time!
take care x
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
Kim - Your doctor would get in contact with your local mental health team, who will then send you to see a psychiatrist who will assess you, and they'll go from there.
I told my mum a bit, but then i was honest with my therapist who then told me i had to see my GP who then sent me byambulance to A&E. Where i sat alone in a room for like 7hours. Finally got the clear medical wise and had to have a psych assesment so now the crisis team are invovled and i will be reviewed again today. just thought i should updateyou all.
My mum was not to bad.
My dad however called me selfish and childish an all those fun names that go with it. so yeah. But hopefully they know now and i can get the help i need.
