Triggering (SI/ED) - i can't take it

~Lizzie~ · 07-09-2008, 03:45 AM

I don't know what to do. I haven't eaten anything in more than 2 days and I keep cutting myself. I feel so depressed I can't even explain it. I just started college a few weeks ago, and I'm trying to put up this fake mask so no one knows who I really am, but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. Soon my roommate is going to notice that I'm not eating. I can't do this.

the darkness inside me · 07-09-2008, 05:32 AM

i know you just started college but would you consider withdrawing for the semester so you can get a handle on yourself?
i know it sounds like a dumb idea but I had to do that. this would have been my third week of college if i hadnt withdrawn for the semester. everyone told me that my health is more important than school. i didnt realize they were right until i withdrew.
i was IP for a few days and am now in outpatient therapy. it does wonders. just try considering it, please?

loopylucy08 · 07-09-2008, 06:40 AM

Do you think perhaps your depression is affecting your eating? Are you on prescribed medicine which could help with that? Putting on a fake mask is just going to put you under added stress and pressure which is going to make you more susceptible to cracking. Perhaps the college has a counsellor you could go to or perhaps there is a tutor you could talk to and explain that you are having a difficult time since you started. Is this a new college or is it somewhere you've been before?

I think irrespective of whether its new or not to you, it is a big change in your routine going back and this is bound to unsettle any one at first because we dont like change. Pherpas with a little more time to adjust you will start to feel a bit better and a bit stronger.

In the mean time try and push yourself to do healthy things. Sometimes when Im chronically depressed I find forcing myself to function actually helps. Not eating wont improve your mood, so if you can try and introduce something, even if its just like soups and smoothies and build up from there.

*hugs*
xxxx

cobweb_smile · 07-09-2008, 07:26 AM

it would be a good idea for you to talk to someone maybe on campus a onsite shrink or something.
i hope you can eat something soon.
goodluck

[Purple_Rain] · 18-09-2008, 03:04 PM

hey

not eating for any logn period of time is very bad for you, what made you feel you had to do that? do you know why you feel depressed? as the others have asked, is there an option for you to get help on campus?

and, as for your roommate, maybe let her in, if you feel able to? it might help haveign someoen keep an eye on you, and encorage you. its hard to fight a war on your own, especially when your fighting yourself.

how are you finding things now?

Liz