I got a PM from the moderators (thank you guys <3) asking me to keep my posts less triggering/graphic for others to read & to remove numbers from them.
I'm fine with doing that, but I was just wondering if anyone had any other suggestions in keeping threads/posts in the R&V forum safer for others to read without feeling you haven't been able to express yourself fully (if that makes sense)?
Any ideas?
I don't know, I think if it's labelled 'triggering' on the thread then people know what they're letting themselves in for when they click on it. At the end of the day, anything can trigger someone so it's hard to know exactly what needs hiding. I just trust that people don't open my thread if they don't feel safe, I know that's what I do.
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How could you become as awesome as you are and still feel like a loser?
The white writing can be a good idea for hiding triggering content - however said triggering content still has to remain within the rules. For example, you cannot put details of a tool or flame another member in white, it still has to apply by the rules of posting.
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I don't know, I think if it's labelled 'triggering' on the thread then people know what they're letting themselves in for when they click on it. At the end of the day, anything can trigger someone so it's hard to know exactly what needs hiding. I just trust that people don't open my thread if they don't feel safe, I know that's what I do.
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yeah i know me too but i was told not to post such graphic material with regards of the effects of my ED.
with other things I'm not sure though. I don't know what is triggering for one person & whats not for the other, thats the hard bit
I kind of feel like if we can't talk about it here where can we talk about it? I think so long as it's labelled triggering people can take responsibility for their own actions. Like was already said, so long as it's in the rules of the forums it should be ok. Freedom of speech and all that.
It's an interesting discussion though, I don't know how to go about making things 'less triggering' for people either. Maybe someone brighter can shed some light?!
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How could you become as awesome as you are and still feel like a loser?
Sorry J but i disagree about the personal bit, or at least i have no idea who your referring too lol.
Helen i don't think it's the names etc, the only thing i personally would have found triggering in anyone's threads, is the number of pills/purges/overdoses/calories/ etc that are there.
But again these numbers are in MANY threads & would be almost impossible to remove from r/v threads let alone every single one in other forums.
However the idea to use your journal for the most explicit posts & keeping it to private is good.
But again, i think if the trigger labels are there, in r/v forum thats all you can do.
<3
"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay"
I;m having trouble knowing what I can & can't post now.
Typsee said in the PM:
'I understand how difficult it can be not to post about how much your ED is effecting your body, behaviour, and your life, coz it really is a bad time and you probably feel this intense pressure to talk about it .... but for the sake of the greater community, the mods really want you to try hard to ask for the help you need without going so much into the triggering details of your disordered behaviour and ED symptoms'
'also avoid going into so much triggering detail of your ED symptomotology and physical problems, as these sorts of posts can have a dangerous and triggering effect on other people who have similar sorts of problems.'
*pokes mods*
I don't know whats too graphic etc & I don't what I'm meant to say other than how my ED effects my life, that kinda limits it to everything?
I think the difference between a post that is very graphic in terms of something that is abuse related, and a post that is very graphic with relation to ED symptoms, is that eating disorders in themselves are exceptionally damaging and are often FATAL .... so if a person is frequently posting post after post of triggering content where they are listing things like how many laxatives they have taken, or how many purges they have done in the day (and with these things being of such very high numbers) then it could very easily create a competitive nature amongst members of this community, which would be just so DANGEROUS to the community.
That's not to say that mentioning numbers (as in numbers of purges, laxatives taken, weight lost, food eaten, BMIs etc) are BANNED from RYL, coz they arent - well ... not yet anyway (but the mods have been discussing whether this may be necessary) - but when someone is posting threads where they make post after post of either food diaries/lists, counts of purges, counts of laxatives taken, descriptions of physical problems due to their ED etc, and the mods can see by all the hugs, or replies, or comments etc, that ALOT of members are reading this thread (or journal), then the mods do get worried about the effect that this may be having on other members of the community.
I'm sure that those of you who have been inpatient in an ED ward/unit would remember all the strict rules and guidelines that you needed to follow when you were a patient of these units, and these rules were created to try to guard against the potentially dangerous nature of gathering together a community of very vulnerable people who are in the grips of a serious disorder ....
Well I hope that RYL is not THAT bad in terms of its rules and guidelines, but we are also a community of people who all have their problems, and we do need certain guidelines and rules to follow as well so that we dont all lead each other down a destructive path.
Now while I'm not an ED mod, so I cant be too detailed about this (but I have been asked to post on this thread, so I'll give my opinion), but I think the posts/details that the mods have objections to, and which people have reported to us, are when members post repeated posts of the following content -
* counts of disordered behaviour (ie - X number of purges today, X number of laxatives taken, X diuretics taken today)
* food diaries - eg - mon - today I ate one apple, 1/2 bag of chips
...........................- tues - today I ate one orange, 1 cup milk
...........................- wed - nothing eaten
...........................etc etc
* post after post where a person's weight can be seen to be dropping lower and lower.
* when people post about going on special "diets" that are really unhealthy and could result in "tip sharing" for other members.
So these are just some examples that come to mind ... and I'm not saying that when members do this once or twice that its a problem, but its more when a member gets into this PATTERN of posting where they post post (or journal entry) of this same sort of content, as the mods feel that this can have a dangerous effect on the community as a whole.
I just think there are ways that you can ask for help from the rest of the community for your problems with purging, eating disorders, restricting, weight loss etc, without giving people a blow by blow detailed account of the disordered behaviours such as -
* how many purges you are doing each day
* the number of times that blood comes up when you purge * exactly what you are eating each day
* how you plan on eating next to NOTHING the next day, or the new diet you are going to try
* how much weight you are losing on a day to day basis
etc etc
This is the sort of obsessive detail on disordered behaviours - which I KNOW is a part of the eating disorder in itself, but I think its very important for the community as a whole to try and FIGHT the urge to dwell on these aspects in your posts - that can have a really destructive and unhealthy effect on the community as a whole, as it can foster competition between members, and can make a community very very SICK!
Now I know that some of this post is quite harsh, but I'm trying to be specific as possible here so that people understand what I mean with regards to asking for help you need and giving people enough detail so they know what's going on for you, but without getting into specific details of disordered behaviour, or getting into a pattern of posting that could (completely unintentionally!) trigger some unhealthy competition in other community members who may start to think that they just arent sick enough to get other members' help .... and this is especially so if those people in the community who seem to be posting in this triggering way, are seen to be getting the most help and support from the rest of the community.
I'm just really sorry that I had to post this reply in Helen's thread, because it may seem as though I am just referring to Helen by my post ... butits not just Helen, as I know that other people in the community often slip into this pattern of posting (especially in R/V threads) where they are posting post after post of numbers of disordered behaviours or details about how things are going downhill for them, and its a very hard habit to break, especially in a community of people who all have problems are almost competing with each other in the form of trying to get some needed help from a community of people who only have so much time (and energy) to reply to posts.
Sorry this has been a long post, and I really should be leaving this to the ED mods to explain as they are more knowledgeable about this sort of thing that I am .... but I just didnt want to leave this up in the air without explaining exactly what I was meaning when I made those comments to Helen that were posted on this thread.
We mods want to try and make this community work for you guys, and sort of be the way that YOU want it to be ..... but we also need to be mindful that people who are in the grips of a disorder, often dont make wise choices for themselves, and for members health, safety and wellbeing, sometimes the mods need to speak up and try to put a stop to what we see as an unhealthy pattern developing in the community.
but i was told not to post such graphic material with regards of the effects of my ED. 
