Dissociation or just something else?

[-Shae-Lynn*]

I'm not even really sure what dissociation is, but I"ve heard people talking about it. I think that what's been happeing is something else though. From what I've read dissociation is when you completly "lose" time and can't rememeber it, like amnesia?
Well, for the past while I've been feeling not really in my body. Not like all the time though. I've only really started to notice it being strong when I'm driving. Like today, I was driving along the highway and then like I felt like I was not really there? I don't even know how to explain it. Like it kinda felt like a dream, except it wasn't. I knew what I was doing and was going through all the things you have to do to drive (brake, look in mirrors, excelerate etc.) except I don't really have a memory of it now really. Like I know I did it and everything. But even when I was driving down the street from the gym, it felt like I wasn't really there. Does that even make sense?!? When driving I realised this wasn't a good thing so I figured out how to make it not so bad. I have to press my leg muscle into the parking brake thing (it's next to the brake underneath) not so much that it really hurts, but so that I can feel it. Like when you press on a bruise that's almost healed..
I don't know how to make it stop. I know that this isn't good, but I don't know why it's happening or how to make it stop. It only ever happens when I stop cutting for a while.
I don't know what to do.
It might be from not doing trampoline for so long because at training today it was fine... I don't know!

[Stellata]

It sounds like dissociation to me. Depersonalisation [google it!] would be the specific kind, I would say.
It's a defence mechanism - it comes in subconsciously to protect you when you're under a lot of stress. Except it can be distressing in itself.

[sherlock holmes]

As stellata said, there is a type of dissociation called depersonalisation which is what you have described. I went through a period of it myself where I constatly felt "floaty" and like I was watching the world through a television screen. My psychiatrist said it was because I was highly stressed and my mind was trying to protect itself.

[pixie*lyssie]

Funny you should mention this, it's exactly how I feel. It's hard to explain but it's like I know I did something but I can't remember what I did when it happened and other peoples actions etc, even though I know it happened, I can't remember the details of it... This makes my memory blurred and my speach stalled. I feel floaty like most of the time like I'm watching the world go by. I just thought it was, strange but I thought I was being stupid if I told anyone about it. I didn't know it could have anything to do with what you guys have mentioned. I think I'll talk to my psychiatrist on the 24th when I see him.

I hope you're ok hun, take care,

Lyssie xx