Depression

[I_Love_Frerard]

For a year now i have diagnosed with depression from my consellor and theripst. I was on anti-depressants for a while then got taken off them when i reufsed to take them.

Anyway i began to feel better but am starting to crash back down again. I wont leave the house, i barely speak to my parents, i have low confidence and low self asteme.

I hear my mam cry and it breaks my heart to know am hurting her this badly, i dont wanna hurt anyone anymore. But i cant help myself, i cant talk to know one and i cant talk to my consellor. I self-harm to help myself but it doesnt work and i cant stop

Please help me, i dont know what else i can do.
I tried to over dose on pills twice now and am so scared, i use alcohol to relieve my inner pain but i dont wanna get addicted.

Can anyone give me advice on how i can pick myself up? i dont wanna see my parents and sister in pain anymore.
Help me please.

[Sleepless123]

Hey you sound a really caring person and also someone who is having a really difficult time right now.

im sorry your hurting so much.

Could you tell your therapist/counsellor anything youve written here or even copy it out for them as it seems you express yourself well in your writing and i am sure they would understand?

Or could you show your Mum/sister?im sure that the things they want most are for you to be ok but also to be able to help you and maybe you can all work through this together perhaps?

Or perhaps you could go to your doctor to talk more about anti-depressants again if you are willing to give them another try or think they may help?

i know it is hard and im sorry if the suggestions ive given above arent very good or arent right for you right now but you sound like you are trying to deal with an awful lot alone and i hope that you can find someone somewhere to start opening up to.

i am always here also if you need me or want to talk more.Take care.

[l'il esky]

hi,

dont have any great ideas cos otherwise i would use it on myself :)

however i would say you need to try and get better for yourself not for anyone else.

try and set yourself little targets of things you want to do, whether it just be walk down the shops or have a day out with some friends or family

i think its probably a good idea to be honest with your doctor and/or therapist cos they cant help if they dont know how your feeling they cant help.

maybe consider going on an AD again. there are lots of different ones out there so there may be one just for you. i'm on my 3rd one now and altho im still struggling a bit, i dont have any side effects at all, dont feel like a zombie, i still have emotions and it helps me with sleep

what made you stop them before?

take care and keep posting so we can try and help xx

[loopylucy08]

I tend to find that if I can push myself to do things, even on days when I feel lousy then 9 times out of 10 I do actually come back feeling better. There are days when Ive literally gone to work crying my eyes out, hardly able to concentrate but once Im there its kinda numbed stuff out a bit.

I think voluntary work is a really good thing to be involved with if you can, because that gets you out and meeting new people and increases your self esteem plus it is very rewarding and there are so many things you can do so its quite easy to find something that compliments the amount of time you have to give, your lifestyle and interests.

Can you identify any little things that changed which made you start to feel better last time? Perhaps you could use these things again. You have spoken very well here about your feelings, so maybe you could print your post and show your mum or your counsellor. Sometimes if Im feeling really rubbish, I have this old bashed up note book and I basically write down everything in my head, all the bad thoughts I have, and then I rip it out and rip it up.

I also think maybe you could consider antidepressants again. Your reliance on self harming methods such as the overdoses, cutting and alcohol needs to be addressed for your own safety, so it may be worth speaking to your GP if you can. There are a number of distraction techniques you could try for when you want to hurt yourself. Some people use rubber bands or ice. Other things you could do are using the distraction section on here, ringing a friend and talking about whatever you fancy or going for a walk.

Another good way to boost your mood is sensible amounts of exercise. Again find something that you enjoy that suits you and your lifestyle. Going for a walk in the fresh air can be equally as good if not much better for you mentaly than spending an hour in the local gym. I have an ED so slightely different but pushing all that aside, since I took up regular exercise, I think it has done me more good than all the anti depressants Ive ever taken put together. I vary my exercise routine between several kinds of exercise so I dont get bored, and since Ive started Ive learned to dance and developed a passion for running which I'd never discovered before. It really helps my mood more than anything.

And this is totally random, but at the min for various reasons my depression is pretty chronic, to the stage where I am struggling to function with anything and everything and my sleep routine is screwed. But among the crapness, Ive discovered one healthy activity that really does work for me and realy has made a difference, and thats black berry picking. It is mind numbing. Why am I telling you this you may ask? Well I just wanted to tell you how a simple mundane activity can really help and that if you can just find that niche for you, it might make things more bearable- also you never know, ya might want to do some black berrying yourself. Lots of nice countryside around Newcastle- me nan and grandpa from there and me mum grew up in Newcastle.

xxx

[l'il esky]

^ woah becky, im impressed that is a fab reply.

might trying goin to a pick ur own or at least go to the farm shop. its a shame we all dont live closer we could have a pick your own for people with depression group-i would def go to that!! xx

[loopylucy08]

You really should! Im berry obessed. Theres something very peaceful and relaxing and soothing about it.
I live in the countryside so Im lucky- there are LOADS of black berries where we live. And theres a really lovely forest nearby that you can go and make a day of it. It just gets me out in the fresh air and theres a certain feeling of satisfaction when you come back with the tub full to the brim, plus blackberries are really pretty! My only problem is that now my poor mum has a freezer full of blackberries and I am currently working my way through every blackberry recipe in the book! And any one and every one we know are being presented, but in the name of fighting depression, it definately definately is worth it!

[sherlock holmes]

With antidepressants, and not many people know this, you have to keep taking them for six months after your symptoms go away or there is a high chance you will relapse.

But with most antidepressants, if you are taking the correct dose, you will not get addicted to them.

If you are worried about overdosing on them, why don't you speak to your psychiatrist/CPN about it because they could probably come to your house each day with that day's tablet and watch you take it. That way you won't have to fill large prescriptions and worry about the potential to overdose.

If you really don't want to go back on medication, then you can do other things to manage your depression. Exercise is really, really important even though you probably don't feel like doing it when you are depressed. You should aim for thirty minutes per day, outside of your house if possible. You could go for a brisk walk (if you have a dog, then walk him!) or join a gym, or go swimming. If you really can't get out of the house then dance mats are very good! Exercising releases endorphins which are "feel good" hormones.

Getting a balanced diet is important too as many doctors believe that our diet has an impact on our mental health. Aim for five fruit and veg a day and three whole grains (eating cheerios for breakfast helps with this, and eating wholemeal bread at lunch). If you are eating too much chocolate and crisps for example (like I was a few months ago) it makes you feel tired and sluggish and generally rubbish.

Getting into a good sleep routine is also important. When I felt depressed I wanted to stay in bed all day, and it made me feel more lethargic and tired. Recently I've been going to bed at 9pm (not suggesting you have to go to bed this early!) and reading, and waking up each day at 8am. I honestly feel a lot less tired now.

If you don't sleep well at night then there are also ways of helping with that. For example taking a relaxing bath with some lavendar oil/scented toiletries in the evening. If you can't sleep, then you should get out of bed, go to a different room and do something for thirty minutes, then get back to bed. Research has shown that it's harder to fall alseep if you constantly use the television/computer in your bedroom as you associate it with work/stimulating activities. Also, if you can't sleep and you want a healthier alternative to sleeping tablets, then try having a hot milky drink before bed. Also a herbal remedy called valerian root is supposed to help make you sleep.

[Mark_12]

i can't offer any medical advice , but i fear the stress of the marriage & etc might be telling on you ; but youv'e got to try and snap out of it ; after all what couldn't be better than being alive with your son and hubby and the changes that you have experienced and coped with , has to be a plus for you . you have done remarkebly well for all the challenges that have that you have had to endure --- hang in there you will make it work --- after all youv'e had the guts to ask a question ; why not accept a bit of self confidence ; which is probably all you may be lacking !! keep your chin up you are doing better than you think .


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