I don't know why i bother

[ferretmonster]

thinking i can talk to anyone, it was a stupid idea anyway

[irkeninvader]

What's happened? *hug*

[ferretmonster]

it all went wrong

i thought i could finally get help and tell someone,

clearly i dont know how to communicate so i cant

[irkeninvader]

Do you want to try to talk about what happened?

[ferretmonster]

i dont know that i can,

i can feel it all coming back its creeping up and im not sure i can stop it, i dont know if i want to

its silly, it always is,

a discussion in a chat room but i cant have said the right things, they didnt want to talk anymore,

it hurts i dont want to be like this anymore, but i dont think i can go through with telling the dr anymore, it so9unded like a good idea, but im so scared and i dont know what to do anymore

[irkeninvader]

It's not necessarily something you said, maybe the person you were talking to had other things going on or something happened in another conversation. If telling the doctor how you feel will help you get help then you may as well give it a try. If you think you might be too scared to tell them you could write it down and ask them to read it

[ferretmonster]

thats what i was ghoing to do but i dont know now, im scared as to what will happen

#

[ferretmonster]

no it was definatly what i said, they said so,

[irkeninvader]

Has something happened to make you scared? What are you scared will happen?

[ferretmonster]

i dont know,

i dont know what will happen .....ive never told anyone before, but it hurts so much,

[irkeninvader]

If you speak to a doctor they will just try to help you *hugs*

I have to go right now, but it's not because of you - I have to sign off RYL and do something with my boyfriend. If you want to talk about anything feel free to PM me and I'll reply when I can, I'm good at listening. Take care

[ThinkingofRecovery]

You bother because what ever it is that's disturbing or difficult for you right now can get better. You bother because you need to keep fighting whatever it is. You bother because sometimes you can bury things for only so long before you need to reach out for help. You bother because deep down, despite everything else that is going on and whatever your mind tells you, it isn't your fault and you are worth bothering about. Sorry, that probably sounds a little lame. I was just trying to help you realise that there is something within you that is saying no more of this, it's time to get help or time to tell someone.

Do you feel able to tell us a little more as to what has upset you? What are you scared of?

Please take care

[ferretmonster]

i cant sit still, i want to go somewhere do something, but my mmind is so blank

i dont know what scares me,

if i tell someone what will happen to me? i could just hide for longer and no one would ever know but its tiring hiding,

what would they do with me? who would find out? what will they think?

i want to be with people but i dont, theres no one here and i like it but when theres people around i can hide it

[blondiebear]

Please, talk to us. I go to chat sometimes, several times a week, except this week unfortunately. Anyway, if you want to talk one on one "live", let me know when would be a good time for you!

*cuddles you*

[ferretmonster]

thanks blondie, *hugs back*

just dont think i can do it, not to someone in the real world