Hi there lordi lover seza,
You're in NSW ...? COOL! I'm an Aussie too! (qld)
I'm really sorry that things are really tough for you right now, but you're fortunate to have a group of friends who care heaps about you.
From the sounds of your post, it seems as if you are in 2 minds about the way your life is going. On the one hand, you said in regard to getting help from the local mental health centre, that'i dont think i am that bad' .... yet on the other hand, you state that 'everying has been going wrong in my life latly that I dont know where to turn'.
I dont think it really matters that you are not in as much trouble as maybe some other people are in .... the main thing to think about, is that your life is not going the way you had hoped for, and you are having problems ... and this is something that needs addressing in my opinion. You shouldnt have to tough it out alone and without professional help, just because there may be other people in a worse off situation.
It sounds as if your friends and boyfriend really care alot about you, and seem to think you need help from a professional. Friends can only do so much in the way of help and support, and sometimes there comes a time where a person needs the guidance and expertise of someone who knows what they are doing ... and I reckon the local mental health centre is a good place to start.
I dont think it matters too much whether or not you 'are bad enough' to receive help from the local mental health unit - if they do think you're too highly functioning to receive their help, then at least they should be able to refer you on to another place that can help you. This is one of the great things about living in Oz where the public health system is quite good - compared to other countries, there are plenty of places in Australia where you can get reasonably priced (even FREE!) professional help if you are looking for it. We've got free counselling services (eg - lifeLine, Centrecare, mental health clinics, outpatients at public hospitals, Rape Crisis/ Sexual Assault Services), and now, if you see a psychologist in Australia, you can get a medicare rebate for 12 counselling sessions each year (and up to 18 sessions in extenuating circumstances) and if the psychologist only charges the medicare rebate amount, then it doesnt cost you a thing!
I know there is sure to be someone out there for you if you feel that you're ready to get some professional help.
I didnt really understand what you said about being 'close to home', and whether you are meaning that literally, in that your home town is the only place you can get this help, and your scared about returning there ... or if you are meaning something else. And I dont really want to comment any more about that until I know for sure that I understand you.
But I do urge you keep posting here at RYL and talking this out with us - professional help or not, sometimes the best support you can get is from your peers and the people who've been through similar experiences as to what you're going through now, and you'll definitely get people here at RYL who understand quite alot about what you're facing right now.
Hang in there my fellow Aussie ... and if you're feeling up to it, I'd give that local mental health centre a call - calling them up doesnt mean you're committing to anything ... you could just see what they have to say, chat to someone ... find out more about them ... get a few referrals and other phone numbers to check out. It doesnt hurt to do some investigation, does it?
Thanks for sharing ... hope to hear more from you soon.
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