Birthday Blues

Pretty Kill · 26-08-2008, 01:41 AM

It's 1:30am.
I have suffered from depression for years. The last week has been especially rough for me and I wish I could snap myself out of it. You see, today is my 19th birthday. I should be over the moon, but I'm not. I really just see it as any other day, and I just feel like crawling up in my duvet and not emerging until my next birthday, because maybe my mood will have lifted by them. Do you know what I mean? Has anybody else felt especially down in the weeks leading up to their birthday? Do you think maybe it's because I just want to fade into the background, but I can't when it's a day all about me? Does anybody have any suggestions to help lift me out of this, even temporarily? Or any tips for avoiding these feelings next year? Any comments/suggestions appreciated. =/

Robyn

Queer Fringe · 26-08-2008, 10:23 AM

Hey hun, I'm glad I found this post as you are not the only one! I made a post just like this one a couple of months ago, believe me. The thing is just try to think of your birthday as another year you have survived, it shows how strong you are. I agree, if you are not getting proffessional help you should seek it. Birthdays are hard, last year I just cried near enough all day, I hated it so much. I couldn't even describe the feeling I had, it was guilt I think as I should've been happy. Try not to fret about it too much and just take each day as it comes, hopefully it will get easier. Tc hun, here for you xx

xbeckyx · 26-08-2008, 11:17 AM

I know exactly what you mean, my birthday is coming up and I'm dreading it.
But yeh, see it as another year you have survived.
Have you got anything fun planned for the day? I would try surrounding yourself with things you love, might help take your mind of things.

one_step_closer · 26-08-2008, 11:29 AM

Birthdays are supposed to be times of change, celebration, and looking to the future. Those things can be so difficult when you are depressed and your birthday pushes those things right in front of your face where you have to acknowledge them. That's very hard, because depression allows you to only see the negatives in situations. Maybe you could try to look at all of the things that you have achieved and what you want to achieve in the coming year. You could also look at your birthday as a celebration of what those around you have done for you. I hope that you are able to enjoy it. Take care and get in touch if you need anything.

Queer Fringe · 26-08-2008, 03:31 PM

Maybe you could treat yourself to something like a new haircut, or a new style or decorating your room differently to welcome you into the next year of your life?
PM me if u need to chat,xx

26-08-2008, 07:55 PM

holidays are typically hard for many people, due to the anxiety, stress, and the whole idea of looking forward to it and then it letting you down. christmas is hard for me for example, cause it was on christmas that i first cut. and i dislike thinking of my 18th birthday cause i spent it in the hospital, after me and my friends were all trying to do something cool for it and had plans to get my navel pierced and so forth. so does it have to do with past experiences like i was talking about in the latter part, or is it more just the fact that it's a holiday, a supposedly special day where you feel obligated to feel happy, even if you're not type of thing? that might help you out a bit.

Minotaur · 27-08-2008, 01:51 AM

Yup - I know the feeling. My 16th and 18th birthdays weren't particularly great because I spent hours on my own, feeling like ****. Christmas is even worse - I've never liked it since my mum left and I always feel like I'm trying to be happy when I'm not. I think the reason they're so crap is because you're expecting them to be good and when they're not, it hits you worse than it would on a normal day.

I'm sorry you feel like you do