Triggering (SI/Suicide) - need to get all this out

[pez_barbie]

not sure where to start, ive had a few weeks of hell and the last few days has been so hard.
I have this friend, he means the world to me, i'd do anything for him and until last night i thought he knew that. i feel **** writing his problems on here so i'll shorten that part of the story a bit. about 2 weeks ago his girlfriend just left him, no reason just needed space. my friend took it very hard and has been in emotional shittyness ever since. not eating, not sleeping, drinking lots, almost getting arrested and even slipping up once or twice. I love him and at anypoint he needed me i've dropped everything and been there for him trying my hardest to make things right when i have no answers. Its been tearing me up to see him like this. the other day i text him to see how he was only to find out that i'd come so close to loosing him. i've been a mess since then i won't/can't let it happen again i wont lose someone else i care about i cant. i dont know what to do or how to make things right. yesterday i spent the day out with him trying to take his mind off things, I thought it had made things a little better.

last night i got a text saying that this was all my fault. he told me on the phone how evil i was because i had thrown myself at his girlfriend and stuck my tongue down her throat. a few weeks back before all this happened i had been out with his gf and we posed for a photo as if we were kissing each other. it was nothing it was a girly laugh and he had been fine with it. now when im running on empty he throws this back at me. im torn now i still want to help him and be there for him so much but i feel like its worthless im not doing any good and he sees me as the evil bitch.

[Casper_Fading]

Honey it sounds like he's lashing out at a 'safe' person.He's hurting and lashing out at you becasue he is sure you're not going to lash back. It's easy to attack someone when you don't think they're going to attack back. *pets and hugs lots* I'm sorry things are so low for you right now. Maybe you should just say to him "if that's how you feel, you know where to find me when you're past that" or something along those lines. *hugs*

<alive> is right. When people are hurting they make any excuse to lash out at those who are closest and pointing blame in any direction because he doesn't have any proper answers as to why his gf left.
As <alive> says, try not to take it personally and just let him know you're there for him no matter what. Don't beat yourself up it sounds like all you did was be a good friend and he'll see that eventually, he's just angry and hurting at the mo, which we all know no-one can fix and theres no magic cure for.
x hugs x

[blondiebear]

Jess and Loops have said things so well, all I can do is agree with them.

*cuddles you*

[deadtotheworld]

*hugz*
as the others have said, im sure its just anger at the moment- not at you, just at the situation.
im sure once he calms down and realises he was out of order he will apoligise
take care and ope things get sorted
xxx

[pez_barbie]

He has appologised but wont really talk to me says he doesn't want to upset me. feeling really lonely, feels awkward like i don't know how it will work out. I tried to be positive today but then i also tried to cut, which for me is unusual, as thats not my prefered way of doing things. i got close but then i couldn't bring myself to do it, i wouldn't have helped anyway. im lonely he's the person who usually stops me being stupid when i feel like this.