Tricky Couple of Days

[Misunderstood.]

Saw my brother who's 3 yrs 11 months younger than me for the last time i will till around xmas yesterday. he's going travelling with his gf. i only see him once a month but i'm rele going to miss him.
plus a friend of mine is going through a rele hard time with debt, depression and worse. trying to think of ways to help him. perhaps i am, i think im helping a bit but it doesnt feel like enough. no way near. i've helped with money to a v small extent. as much as i feel i can. am on benefits so obviously its not enough money-wise.
im envious of my brother travelling. basically him doing his own thing and having so much freedom. hes going to the states, canada and spain and other places i've prob forgotten. its not that hes going a long way. its the fact that hes not restricted by what he works as etc. not restricted by these so-called dx's i have.
i've nothing planned all week and im starting to get tired of it. the lack of plan. ive prob been here 2 months since the ex fiancee split up with me [not keeping track of time]. obviously i've well accepted that i won't be spending my life with them or indeed living with them. i'm with parents now.
im too old to be living with my parents. im 22 FGS. i lived for about 15 months in Belfast on my own but now im back to square one.
i was talking to mum about needing a life plan. talked about me studdying or working. but its all so vague. i put everything into helping the small amount of friends i have [having moved about in the last 3 years its hard to keep a "social circle" or whatever] but get v little in return.
someone mentioned about focussing on me cos no one else will. i focus on me when i have to. anything else would be self absorbed and selfish.
im bored and frustated at life. just doing nothing with it. wasted potential.
just a complete waste of life in my opinion. i am

[blondiebear]

Sometimes as little as we want to, we have to take care of ourselves. I'm learning to do that. I've been working at everything from dealing with my history of child abuse to taking a time out to brush my hair when things get weird.

Your life is just beginning. Give yourself time.

[Starla]

*hugs*
Sometimes our lives don't work out exactly how we planned but we just need to take a different path to get to where we want to be.
I had a friend once who was going through some real issues with debt. I tried so hard to help him out but in the end helping him financially only hurt us both. It hurt me because I felt used and it hurt him because he didn't learn. It's kind of like that saying if you feed a man a fish, he'll eat for a day, if you teach a man to fish he'll eat for a lifetime. I am not preaching, I'm just cautioning from my own experience.
I know it is frustrating to be living with your parents after you had your months of "freedom." I lived with my parents until I was 22. I have a very close friend who is my age and is now moving back in with her parents for financial reasons. I know independence is great and preferred but it's nice to be able to have someone around to talk to. There is no shame in living with your parents. Just look at it as temporary. It doesn't mean you are back at square 1. You are just taking a different journey.
As for needing a life plan. It reminds me of my favorite quote, "If you can imagine it, you can can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it." I've always found that inspirational when I was searching for a career. Be patient with yourself and don't put so much pressure on yourself.
I know I've rambled a bit. I really hope this could help.

[Misunderstood.]

TY both alot for your replies. I'll definitely re-read them as i'm only just up so too tired to take things in properly yet.
{{many hugs to you both}}

Catherine xxxxxxxxxx

Hi, i'm new to the site but i just wanted to say it can take a while to find your niche in life and even when you think you have found it, it can turn out to be wrong and you have to start again.
It's difficult moving back in with your parents, i know i couldn't do it, we'd kill each other! But as for your friend just be there for him and let him know he's not alone, thats more than enough sometimes.
x hugs x

[Misunderstood.]

(=
TY *hugs you back*
I'm not feeling as bad as I was when i typed that post last night. Another thing is, I don't rele know what to say when ppl ask what i'm interested in. Does anyone else have that problem? I just say i'm interested in a lot of things which is true. I get interested in something for a while and almost study it myself from home in my own way but then i get bored of it and switch to something else. Think that is why i don't rele know what to study 'officially' at college.
=/ Difficult.

Catherine xxxx