Which side of the system?

[one_step_closer]

Sorry, I know i'm posting about this from every single angle that I can.

I am working with a mental health association as a support assistant while at the same time I still have problems of my own. I really want a career in mental health and this looks like the only opportunity that i'm going to get for a while as I live in such a small area. I have just finished uni and don't want to watch my friends moving forward with their lives while I am stuck in the same place.

The 'problem' is that I am still in need of support. My GP wanted to refer me to the organisation that i'm working with and I do agree with her that they would be helpful. They provide support with practical things and I need help with making and keeping appointments, getting out and about, phoning people etc. They also have an out of hours crisis support service which would be much better than phoning a helpline where people don't know me. If things got really bad for me they would be able to come out to my house to support me.

I used to have a support worker there but she left and I was too scared to phone them to continue with another support worker. I really would like their support but I can't have a support worker and continue to be a support assistant myself. How can I decide which side of the system I need to be on right now? As I said, I don't want to sacrifice my future career and this is the first step on the ladder. But at the same time I do need support to hopefully work through my depression.

I see a psychologist and am about to start seeing my CPN again but their support is not regular enough and they can't increase it. The organisation that i'm working with would be able to provide me with face to face support at least once a week and telephone support at any time.

I wish there was an easy way to make this decision. I find it hard to work because of my mood and dissociation but I can cope. I'm not sure that i'll ever be able to work properly though and become a psychologist if I don't work through my issues. Do I put my energy into getting better now or moving forward with my career? Maybe i'm never going to be ok, I have fought this for so long. Maybe I need to keep working because i'm not going to get better and I have to learn to cope with things.

I really don't know. Any input would be hugely appreciated.

[smile5]

sorry I cant offer much advice, but I do admire what you are trying to do with your life. I want to work in mental health or work as an occupational therapist so know how much you want to further your career in mental health. the tricky part is that you still need support. Is there any chance you can look for some other work whilst you get the support you need, then go back to working in mental health. I think I have worked out that I need to work in other areas other than mental health/occupational therapy to build my confidence up and get all the support I need. I hope you work out what to do. Sorry I cant offer much advice

[Stellata]

I'm going to throw in a few ideas from my own experience. They may or may not be useful and relevant to you. But they come from the eyes and years of an older bod, with perhaps some wisdom from experience.

As you know, I spent some years starting training as a psychotherapist, and then had to break it off due to my own mental health needs/emotional vulnerability. This was a real disappointment to me, but I don't regret one bit the training that I did do, because it helps me negotiate the path of my own therapeutic journey, as well as give me extra insight when supporting people here.
I know I can train when I'm ready, and that there's plenty of time, even though I am now in my late 30s.

It's best to build a really good foundation in yourself first.

I also spent over a decade in the wrong career for me, primary school teaching. But I don't regret the degree I did [and struggled through, but got a good grade] because it's given me a really good foundation in self observation, awareness and creativity. And I recognise that I do have teaching skills, they just need to be in the right place - and the right place isn't a school classroom.

How about exploring openings in the admin side of this mental health organisation, regarding work. Or paid admin work with any voluntary organisation, could give a good background, while you work on stabilising yourself.

You're the foundation of your future career, perhaps more so than the work you do.

[one_step_closer]

Thank you very much.

I have worked in other areas before I started in mental health and I really feel that I need to be working in this area now. I have had support for about 6 years, surely that should be enough? It frustrates me that I am still struggling now.

I'd hate to work in mental health 'on the boundary' as in admin work. It would just remind me of what i'm missing out on. I know that it's important that I concentrate on my health first so that I can be strong enough to work. I'm just impatient, I guess.

I can be on both sides of the system at once, but not within the same organisation. I have a fair bit of support, it's just that this organisation could offer me a different type of support which I think would be really useful.

I am going to try to talk to as many people as possible about this. I did a little thing last night where I looked at the advantages and disadvantages of either working with them or being supported by them and it seemed like having their support was the best option. I'm still feeling like working with them would be better though.

I hate that mental illness is so disabling.