Triggering (SI) - Frustration?

[Daydream]

Recently a LOT of my family have been into A&E and in hospital and such. It never used to bother me, but now I've stopped (15 months now), and its increasingly frustrating me that I'm not the one going into A&E anymore. I was always there a year and a half/two years ago, having lots of stitches and having casts put on, now I'm really careful I don't get hurt (or hurt myself) so I haven't been to A&E in 15 months.

My sister is always there because of work accidents (she works in a kitchen) and I'm starting to feel like I don't want to go and be with her and keep her company in A&E because I'm so frustrated. Sometimes I even wish that we'd have like a small car accident or something so I'd have to go in there again for myself, is that wrong? Its not like an attention thing, I think its the idea of having certain things like stitches or casts or pain again.

I'm due to go into hospital soon (as soon as I get the letter) for an operation, so I'm sure that will be helpful, but I just don't know how to get rid of this frustration right now. My sister is so clumsy and is bound to get into an accident again soon (hopefully not though) and I'm on the verge of saying that I'm never going to come with her to A&E again.

Grrr.

[Sleepless123]

Hey i can understand that and i certainly dont think its an 'attention thing' as you put it.

But i think maybe your frustration about this is trying to tell you something.

Obviously i may be far wrong but i think maybe your actually in need of something and that is what your frustration is trying to tell you.

Maybe its trying to tell you that you need to be cared for more by yourself or others or that subconsciously you are feeling low on care from others around you?

Maybe its just telling you that you as a person need some care and TLC right now and you deserve that whether you have an accident or not.

Everyone does.

i know you didnt go to A and E for attention before.

You went cos you needed treatment for your self harm.

Did you used to feel better when you came out?

If so do you know what happened there that made you feel better?

i dont know.Those are just my thoughts.

im sorry.They are probably no use!

Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk more.

[Angel_Girl]

It wasn't for attention, I'm sure of that. It's actually very simple (or at least that's how I see it) - people in A&E took care of you, they made things better for you. It's very natural that a person feels better after someone takes care of him. I have the same craving - I even hurt myself so I can later take care of my wounds and make myself feel loved.
This feeling is very natural, don't be ashamed. There are lots of people here who feel the same.
Deena