god i am so so sorry. i know how devastating it is to worry about someone. i hate that ive done that to people i care about. im sorry. im fine. feeling a bit ill and off kilter, but, im fine. im sorry.
everything thats been happening the past two months or so just suddenly hit me. i cracked. it just all got to much andim sorry. it was a relapse of sorts. a relapse back to the days when i went out with no other purpose then to total myself on whatever i could find. but, i was with friewnds and even though they didnt realise what i was doing, they were there and would have looked after me. im sorry. im so selfish. i know i am. i just want everything to be okay and no matter what i do, i just cant seem to be happy or do the right thing. i broke down to my friend. bawled my eyes out. they very rarely see that part of me but i just couldnt contain it and ended up telling her how miserable i am, how alone i feel.
i need to do something. something big. i need to be not how i am now. its change or die. i dont know which is more appealing.
im still not going to be around as much. i just felt like i owed people and apology and explanation. i know it doesnt excuse anything.
but everyone i have upset. I couldnt be more sorry.
You dont have to be sorry for feeling how you do Erin, just remember you have plenty of people here to talk to about how you're feeling. Please look after yourself.
Honey, don't be sorry, you're going through a rough time and that's not your fault. Just try your best to stay positive I know it's hard but you have looked ot for us lot now it's your turn for us to look out for you *hugs* have you got anyone you regularly talk to like a therapist or someone? I find it really helps to talk things out, crying is good, cuddle a teddy and cry! I know it sounds silly but it worked with me.
*cuddles you tightly* you know where i am. And i mean it, you call me or message e and i'll talk to you. if you need me too, i'll come back up to sydney. *hugs you tight* i am ALWAYS here for you.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Its ok Erin, there is no need to apologise. We are all just glad you are ok, remember we are all here if you need to talk or just want a hug. Look after yourself. Take care
Kat xxx
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
Erin, there is nothing wrong with asking for what you need.
*hugs you*
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
PhropheticScar/Erin, I've always thought you were a lovely person. You can always ask for what you need. And you should allow your friends to support you. You don't have to do everything by yourself.
Hey Erin You dont need to apologise you havent done anything wrong. Your going through a really difficult time but that doesnt make you selfish. Your not a selfish person at all. I think your lovely.We all do. We all care about alot. You will get through this you have all of us here at ryl behind you supporting you. Stay strong, keep fighting. Im thinking of you.
hi. Erin please hang in there and stay strong, please keep continuing to reach out to your friends and to us all here at RYL. we all love you and care about you Erin.*CUDDLES* And you have nothing to be sorry for, you are having a really tough time Erin but all of us at RYL love you and care about you. please try and stay strong.*MORE CUDDLES*
*cuddles*Its ok to feel not good but please dont shut people out. Let others help you and worry about you sometimes. You dont always have to be so strong. But most of all accept the help.
I get what you mean about wanting to do something big. I get that a lot. But how about doing something big thats not as self destructive, i find it helps. This could be something like a dramitc hair change colour or cut or something similar. Something that is big and shocking but not as damging.
Pleasem take care sweetie, you mean a lot to a lot of differnt people.
