Triggering (SI/Suicide) - The fight goes on

[Tears of Solitude]

I feel a fraud lurking on RYL considering I havent self harmed for over 2 years.

I still have to fight everyday not to. Sometimes the urge is sooo strong its only my family who have hidden all the sharp objects away from me that stops me.

Do you think that once your a Self Harmer, that the urge is always there????

Please can I have your acceptance, because I need your support right now. I feel so lost and alone at the moment.

Your friend Jade xxx

[Tears of Solitude]

Thank you for your reply. I think your right that I havent dealt with the root cause.

I thought I had.

Thank you for being on my side. I feel less alone now

Jade xxx

[Tears of Solitude]

I have had therapy but I feel I need more.

The causes are:- Being unwanted as a child
Being Date raped
Loosing my Baby Son Connor To Cot Death at 15 weeks

Most of the time I can fight it but sometimes it all creeps in and I feel overwhelmed with it all.

Thank you so much for caring and asking

Jade xxx

[Tears of Solitude]

Thank you for your advice. I have had a look at your links in your signature. They were very useful.

Thank you so much for taking the time to post. I am trying so hard not to crumble but I feel its getting all too much.

Luv Jade xxx

[daizy]

i feel like i'm a fraud on here sometimes to, but from what people have said it's making me realise anyone can be on here who feels they need to be here. I hadn't SH for about 2 years but something caused to me to SH again. If the urge is still there then this you'll find all the help and support you want here.

i know how you feel about feeling like a fraud, you're not. If you want to talk feel free to pm me

[Casper_Fading]

*cuddles* jade honey, i don't know if the urges truly go away... but you're ability to deal with them gets stronger. i've slipped up twice in the past two years... but i'm still saying it tw oyears! maybe i'll have other slip ups but it doesn't matter, I can deal with it. You're not a fraud, you still need support and care! *hugs lots*

[blondiebear]

I had not self harmed for three years, then something happened in a relationship with a family member and I was off at it again

Because it is or was a way of coping, i don't know that the urge ever goes away. Or at least the subconscious idea that it could be a way to help deal with the awful feelings.

*hugs you*

[Tears of Solitude]

Thank you for all your support. It means the world to me.

I think I do need more help. I have a doctors appt on Thursday, so wish me luck for that.

Jade xxx

[Yellow]

*squishes*
i hope the appt. goes well.
2 years is amazing.
i think that people in recovery need just as much support as people who actively SI.
SI is a coping mechanism and i think it will always be in the back of my mind as ive done it for so long.
i hope that made a bit of sense.
thinking of you.
much love.
xxxxxxxxxx

[Casper_Fading]

Good luck sweetheart! *cuddles* keep us updated and keep coming here as long as you need it!