single forever?

horizon_surfer · 10-08-2008, 10:15 PM

Ever feel like you're going to be single forever? I don't know what to do. I have no friends and i feel weird/unsafe going out on my own.. how do i meet people? Doesn't help Im gay and disabled :(

Stellata · 11-08-2008, 08:56 AM

Yes, I feel that too.
Thing is, I'm only just now even starting to get in touch with my sexuality.
I'm 38.

horizon_surfer · 11-08-2008, 02:45 PM

yeh that's tough. i dont know if it's better finding out early or not. in a way i guess it is cause at least i know what i want.. but in another way sometimes living the truth is just as hard as living the lie. either way i live in a non-gay area so i guess im just gonna end up on my own like i have been for the past few yrs.. gods im so sad!

11-08-2008, 03:18 PM

Have you tried online dating websites?
I know there's alot of media hype about them being a "con", but some are genuine and i've had a few friends who have met there significant others through dating websites and are now happily engaged/married.
I used to use a dating website in my late teens as i used to feel like i'd be "single" forever. Strangely enough i never went on the site to meet anyone! I went on because an old friend of mine always used to go on about how fun the chatroom used to be, so i used to go in the chatroom every evening.
I met SO many people (male and female) and 5 years on i'm still very good friends with some of them!
I found once i settled in i felt comfortable. As, like you, i wasn't overly confident about going out/meeting people. I went out alot from the ages of 16-18, then my confidence took a nose dive. Then i met up with the people i spoke to in the chatroom, we used to go to london all the time for evenings out.

*big hugs* It's all down to confidence. Have you thought of going to any hobby groups or evening classes? They can boost your confidence lots.

Don't let the fact you're disabled/gay stop you from going out and meeting others. You have just as much of a right as anyone else to have fun and find love & friendships.

*big huggles*
You WILL find someone. It's just a case of when and where. There's hope for everyone, so keep your chin up hunny.
xxxxxx

charcoal feathers · 11-08-2008, 05:57 PM

Yeah, i feel like that too.
But like others have suggested, join new groups, dating sites, etc just to meet new people and you never know where it might lead.

Tears of Solitude · 11-08-2008, 06:25 PM

I met my Hubby at a computer game shop. He was an Assistant Manager. He helped me out with a game I was stuck on. He took my work phone number to let me know what to do next in the game.

The next day he phoned me up at work to see if the solution worked and asked me out. The rest is history.

I believe that fate has a great part to play. Its about being at the right place at the right time.

Wishing you good luck

Jade xxx

Animad · 12-08-2008, 08:59 AM

Yeah, it is one of those things that can just happen when you least expect it. I have mates who are gay and have no trouble finding partners; one of which I know met someone online, so you should't let that stop you.

I kind of feel the same as you (apart from the sexuality bit, I'm straight). I'm single, have been for some time now. For various health reasons it is sometimes difficult for me to go out and have fun at night at uni and with very few guys being at my college it is often hard to meet people. Though, I know from past experiences that sometimes things just happen when you least expect them.

Hopefully it will all work out for you and anyone that is half decent shouldn't care about your disability :)

akita · 12-08-2008, 11:17 AM

Im 32 and I've been single for quite a while but like Animad said, your disability shouldnt stop you finding love.

*faerie-dust* · 12-08-2008, 11:37 AM

I know where you're coming from, but it will happen when you least expect it. I was single for years and had just given up hope of ever finding anyone. I remember sitting on a train on the way to a music festival and telling my friend that I had officially given up, I was destined to be single forever and I wasn't even going to find anyone attractive if I could help it, because it was completely futile.

A couple of hours later I arrived at the festival and found myself camped next to my soulmate, the man who was to become the love of my life.

What are you interested in? Have you had a look around for any clubs or interest groups you could join? If you don't meet a potential partner there it'll still be a great place to make friends and find people you could go on nights out with.

And I'm with Animad, anyone who is put off by your disability isn't worth bothering with in the first place.

horizon_surfer · 12-08-2008, 07:14 PM

its not the fact that people would be put off by the disability more that it renders me housebound the majority of the time so i can't get out there and join clubs or go to festivals and things as easy.. and because i dont have any offline friends i dont have anyone to rely on to help me get out or whatever.

ive had online stuff in the past, but long distance would kill me right now. i need something real i guess.