As I said, I feel like a fraud being on here. Nothing really bad has really happened to me, not much is happening in my life that's particularly bad. However now and again I feel i suppose the word is numb. A few years ago I was SH, nothing bad really happened to start it but it did. A few weeks ago i had the urge to SH and did, it was over something quite trivial that is kinda getting better. However today I was in a bit of a bad mood at work, wasn't feeling to well. I just went all numb, felt like bursting into tears, screaming at everyone to leave me alone. When I was alone I did it again, which I regret now. The thing is nothing really happened to make me feel like this. On the way home I nearly drove into a van, didn't see it even though I looked. Feel like my mind is playing tricks on me, not seeing things that are right there in my face and then thinking I'm seeing things that aren't there.
I hate days like this, I should be happy, I want to be happy
hunni,
there doesnt have to be anything wrong exactly. most depression is chemically related in your brain. when you are depressed...you just are.
are you taking meds or seeing any professionals to help you??
you are NOT a fraud. your feelings are valid and important.
*squishes you*
loves.
xxxxx
A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
I used to see a counsellor a few years ago, both decided I didn't need to go any more. Even my boyfriend said it helped and I was a lot better. Not seeing anyone now and never taken any meds. I haven't told anyone how I've been feeling as I don't know what to say as I don't know why I'm feeling like this. When I'm feeling bad there are only 3 things keeping me going, my nephew, my boyfriend and my sisters wedding next year. It's only little things that are really getting to me, like last night I couldn't sleep because all I could hear was this one fly in the bedroom, it was so loud. Which is what started my bad mood today. Luckily I am having more good days than bad, just hoping tomorrow will be better
Several years ago, i walked into the offices where i am a patient in the medical group and said that I'd heard of anti depressants and would they be appropriate for me. They still are.
I use that with counseling, my psychaitrist is also my therapist, with talking to people here, and with being in Alcoholics Anonymous and talking to people in meetings.
I said that the way i did, so maybe you could look into antidepressants too, if you want to. There is nothing wrong with needing counseling.
On a day to day business, i find that thinking about the good things helps.
PM me if you want to talk.
*hugs you*
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
**Hugs to daizy**
As long as you are harming yourself you are a self harmer. And as long as something is triggering you to do it, even if you think it is silly or small, if it is triggering you it is just as important. Sometimes I felt like maybe I was faking this whole SI thing. Maybe I just wanted attention. I only felt that way because I have had a pretty blessed life. Even though my life is blessed sh*t still happens and I still get incredibly depressed that leads to my SI. It can be a vicious cycle.
Don't diminish your feelings.
I don't think this has helped at all.
Hopefully you can at least get that I care out of my response if the ramblings seem too much like ramblings. I apologize
Love, Starla
I don't really want to go on anti depressants, my sister was on them for quite a few years and found it hard to come off them, don't want to end up like that. Also will mean i'm admitting something is wrong, i don't want that, I'm scared that something is. Last nite it took me ages to sleep, I kept thinking about everything, how stupid I was being, trying to figure out why i felt like this.
Thanks for your advice, at least I know I can come on here and try and make sense of how I'm feeling
