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Triggering (OD) - Overdose (trigger)
I OD'd last week. Unintentional though. Wasn't planned. No lead up.
I went to bed. Read a litle then I got up. I was seeing things, people (3) in my lounge. I could hear them talking but no idea what about. I text mate up north and she said to call her. But I couldn't as 'they' would be able to hear me and I was scared, So I kept texting.
Then I seemed to take my sleeping meds, to make it all stop. Not to end my life. I didn't even wanna SI but I needed the people to go. I had no other meds so I took the sleepers.
Then I got confused, I couldn't find my meds (I forgot I had taken them) Speaking on MSN to someone I was confused. Texting my mate and finally agreeing to call her. Aparently ( I was confused and don't remember it clearly at all) I agreed to go to hospital. But by time I got off phone it was too late and I passed out in my lounge.
I woke next day (wed last week) on sofa, fully dressed, I must've dressed ready for hospital but passed out instead.
I threw up big time. Went to bed, and spent most of day in bed feeling sick and not being able to drink or eat.
took me few days to get over it.
I told my worker a few days after and she checked if I needed to be seen by Dr, but as 24 hours had passed nowt that could be done unless I was still poorly sick. I just felt tired and washed out and t had been nearly 40 hours.
I am really annoyed with myself. I went to bed and was fine. I was fine all day. No thoughts of this, No plans. Nothing.
But suddenly there are people in my flat and I panicked and this was only way I could think of to stop them.
I only have halucinations when I'm ultra majorly stressed. I know I have been lately but didn't think I was that bad. Clearly I just didn't see it all.
I am back on my meds now (anti depressents) And hope that can help my anxiety, but much of the cause of stress is situations that are now passing, calming so time is only needed and I thin I am fine with that now.
Just the stress over eating and AN being a pig to me.
Sorry for ranting and rumbling on. I guess I'm still trying to get some understanding on the situ. Make sense of it, but struggling.
I had almost done 6 months of no SI.
Clocks starts again!
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