Too Much in One Day (Maybe Triggering for Some)

[dubagirl]

I'm sorry if this is the wrong thread, I really don't mean to mess the forums up or clog them up with stupid posts.
I just needed some help or advice or something, since I've had a really difficult day on the adolescent ward I've been an inpatient on for almost 5 months now.
Basically my psychiatrist who I've been seeing for 6 months, who I gradually learned to open up to about everything, left today cos of being rotated within the hospital to a different ward after 6 months. I am feeling so upset by this because I just don't know what I'm going to do without her. She helped me in so many ways and has given me the confidence to start speaking my mind about things without being worried about people's reactions to them (obviously a very gradual thing to learn to do but something I really want to be able to do). Also she's been helping me to manage and overcome my depression in different ways which I've really appreciated.
Not only this, but today one of the nurses (a student) also left, who I'd been working with really closely with since she arrived on the ward on a placement 4 months ago. She knows me better than all the other nurses on the ward apart from my named nurse and, again, I haven't got a clue how I'm ever going to recover now that she's not going to be there for me.
I'm so worried and upset about the whole situation, and I just feel so hopeless again about ever getting better or ever being discharged because it feels like things will go back so many steps again and it'll take me ages longer to get better. Trouble is that I'm 18 in 2 and a half months so I really need to sort myself out before being transferred to an adult ward, because I really don't want to go there. I want to be out of hospital so badly but then it seems inevitable that I'll just end up overdosing again or something, and frankly my liver can't take any more paracetamol.
I'm not entirely sure what my point is but I know I need some kind of help with all these thoughts and feelings and I can't phone the ward because I don't want to talk to any of the staff who I know are on shift.
Thank you everyone, you are lovely.
XXX

[Shenanigans]

*cuddles*

I wish I could help hun, but I've read and I care.
I hope you feel better and things get sorted
Xxxxx

[pedagoguepariah]

Just wanted you to know I read your post and that I care. It's very rough losing MH people you trust. Ironically, while I relate to everything you've said, I'm in a polar opposite situation. I need help, but have been procrastinating for a long time now about getting it. I hope you find someone you can trust ASAP.

[Tig]

*Huggles*

I can relate a lot to your post, it is very hard sweetie.

When I was in an adolescent unit by named nurse left after I'd been there a few months, I found it very upsetting but I promise you, it doesn't mean the end of your recovery.
These two people have had a strong influence in your recovery and you must take what they gave you away with you, even though you can no longer see them. They wouldn't want you to give up, they would want you to keep working as hard as you have been.
You will find people you can trust just as much. I am actually so thankful that my first named nurse left because my next named nurse, I worked so well with so I was lucky, I got to work with two fab people.

Give yourself time right now to 'grieve' for the loss of these two people. Perhaps you could have a chat with your named nurse? I'm sure she would be understanding of how you are feeling, I certainly found the Nurses I spoke to were.

The idea of being transferred to adult services is a very scary prospect, I was transferred to adult services nearly a year ago now. I definately urge you to put as much as possible in to your time with adolescent services because it's a time that's for you to get well again. However, it's not the be all and end all. If you do have to go to adult services then perhaps you will find something there that works for you even better. Recovery takes a long time, I've got so long to go but I'm sure we will both keep finding strength.
I was also at a point where my liver couldn't stand any more. We are quite similar! If you want to PM me and chat you can. I have now been able to stop overdosing, so there is hope. There was a time when I thought I would never be able to stop, I was overdosing and requiring hospital treatment up to three times a week for a point but now I've completely stopped that and am able to accept they are still urges. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound preachy I just want you to know that it is possible but I can relate and I think that if somebody had told me that two years ago I would have laughed and thought it didn't apply to me.

It sounds like you have been working extremely hard to get to where you are now and I am proud of you. You should be proud of you too :)

Lotti x