My boyfriend found out..

messed_up · 07-08-2008, 04:15 PM

My boyfriend of 5 months found out a couple months ago that i SH. He had his suspicions before but i just lied and changed the subject but i got drunk and it all came out. And i had some fresh cuts a couple weeks ago that i tried hiding but the heat just got unbearable so i took my jacket off and tried hiding my arm but he saw and this resulted in a massive arguement because he doesnt understand and now iv cut agen and hes due back from holiday in a few days. How do i try to make him understand? It makes it more difficult because hes had a perfect life nothings gone wrong for him and he admits that and i have alot of issues that result in me SH. I just need him to try to understand but he doesn't seem to get it?

Thankyou in advance
xXx xXx

Puppet Strings · 07-08-2008, 06:47 PM

Hey,

I'm sorry his reaction wasn't the best, but it's probably because he cares about you a lot and doesn't like to see you hurting yourself.

How about writing a letter, with bits of info about self-harm from websites like this one? That way it gives him time to sit down, read it, think it through, without it escalating into an argument.

Take care,
Rach x

The Stolen One · 07-08-2008, 07:31 PM

*Hugs* sorry its worked out like this
could you try and give him some reasons that you cut? if you try to help him understand some of the stuff you go through he may be more understanding and be able to help you more, explain that SH is an addiction, which you are trying hard with, but its not easy

PM anytime
Caz x

darkmystikrose · 07-08-2008, 08:04 PM

Having someone you deeply care about know and react badly to SI is hard....I know. The only thing YOU have control over though is YOU. remeber that. If you are not in a place in your life to stop, that is your disicion, the only thing you can do is give him AS much information you can about SI. Some important things to remeber thoughto make it easier on both of you is:
*Never promise him your going to stop unless you are.
*Dont lie to him about it if he asks you.
*Try to discuss it with him, but if he would rather ignore it right now, let him.

I've had some bad exsperiance with guys who just dont get it. If you ever need to talk please PM me. I am here for you with as much support as I can give *hugs* Stay strong

Starla · 07-08-2008, 08:16 PM

It may seem bad now that he found out, but it may be for the best. It's really important to be honest in a relationship. I am sorry to hear that he reacted poorly. If this is his first experience with SI it may be shocking to him. Just remember that he can't make you stop. Only you can stop if you desire to.
Also I would suggest telling him some things that trigger you so that he can understand why you do it. Also, why not recommend that he does a little research. Show him some good articles or websites explaining SI. I find that sometimes other people's words work more efficiently than my own.
I know it is very hard. A lot of times when people react badly it is because they care about you and don't know how else to react.
Good luck!! Stay strong!