Ok, I won't give you all the details but yesterday my friend Paul and I had a talk and he said that he would like to start dating (we had basically been doing that a little over a year ago but it wasn't official or anything). We talked about a lot of things (like his dislike of psychology, which happens to be my major, and his being in the military, fine with me but he wanted to make sure I knew they move frequently)...but never once did I bring up the counseling I just started or my SI. I really like him and I don't want it to be a deal breaker so early in the game. On the way home I was thinking 'gee, now I've gotta quit cutting' which thought was directly followed by 'oh, I wanna go home and cut'. Now how messed up is that?! It's like a bad joke 'You know you're in deep when...' So now I have to decide if I want to date him and decide what to do about my cutting (which I am not sure I want/am able to give up yet :s)...
Thanks for 'listening'
Alyssa
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
Ask your self do you want to stop cutting? and are you ready to stop?
If so the maybe consider stopping for yourself, but using him for support.
And if your not ready to stop cutting, then it is up to you to tell him if and when you feel ready. Dont rush into things. And deffinetly dont try ad stop for the sake of someone else!!! It never works out as well as you think.
Either way dont do anything you dont feel comfortable with.
From experience, I think the best thing to do would be to tell him. Theres no point hiding now what you would only have to tell him later. I've never had any problems with telling people. My guy just wanted to protect me, but he wasnt scary or horrible or anything. I'm honestly really glad I was open and honest.
Don't stop for him though- I stopped for someone and developed an ED within a month or so... Do things at your pace. But being open means its one less person you have to hide from- which is always nice.
Good luck xxxx
Yeah...well, I can't tell him right now...I couldn't even tell him about my counseling...I don't know how he'll feel about that (the last time we 'dated' one of his reasons for breaking it off was that he didn't care for psychology...my major...he's since decided it's ok but I don't know how he'd feel about my going to counseling...). Sigh.
Thanks all
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
