Triggering (SI) - *Graphic trigger?* Help, kinda urgent

[bleeding black]

Its 6:20am
I spent the night drunk with my girfriend (awesome)
But now i feel really f*cked,
I have DID and some of my alters self harm, though it hasn't happened for a few months, but when it does its.... serious.

I haven't wanted to do anything self-harm like for ages, i just dont get those feelings anymore.... well until now.
I want to slit my wrists, but i dont want to die, and i dont want to slit my wrists, but i feel driven, like a part of me wants to, but im feeling the urges, not an alter. Its a strange, REALLY strange feeling..... I'm not sure what to do. I've talked inside about it inside and no one in my system (that i have contact with) is owning up. I feel like im in alot of trouble, last time there were around 60 or so stitches, and if it werent for someone calling an ambulance, i dont think id have made it
Im scared its going to happen again, uhhh
sorry im just....not knowing what to do.....
ash n lostboys

[Shenanigans]

Is there anyone around who you can talk to and make sure you're safe?
Sorry I'm not much help but please look after yourself and take care
Xxxxx

[bleeding black]

Hey, um kind of better, kind of the same. I didn't sleep last night. But did around 1:00pm for a bit. Feeling crap, and i think one of my guys (insider) sent an sms to our dad. We haven't seen him in 3 or 4 years because he ab*sed/r*ped us from infancy till we moved out. It's complicated.... I've asked who it was but no-one is owning up, truth is we dont know all of us yet... *sigh*
We didnt hurt ourselves so its ok, but things are still crappy... Thanks guys