****ing self esteem

[-Stewie-]

does my head in.

its a chicken or egg thing isnt it- is the reason i feel **** because i have low self esteem or do i have low self esteem because everything's so ****?

but... i know for a fact that its the former- the world doesnt change and some days i can deal with it, some days i cant- therefore self esteem is the problem, not the world right?

the thing bothering me at the moment is that everyone just seems so distant these days- its like they're on one side of a wall and im on the other. and i dont know if thats just me because if i think that then people can tell and therefore they probably replicate it making the wall thicker. but then because i have low self esteem i would think i was the problem wouldnt i?

i need objective opinions. recently my own and the ones of people around me mean nothing. and usually opinions of people who dont know me mean more to me for some reason.

also- i appreciate if you have read this and feel for me, but please dont reply if all you're going to say is *hugs*- sorry but its not helpful and when i see replies to my thread it gets my hopes up thinking great someone's actually trying to help me.

thanks

[blue_cloud]

low self esteem is a vicious circle and it takes something somewhere along the line to break it, either deciding to give yourself a break and find things about you that aren't actually so bad or trying to do somthing that might make you enjoy things a bit more therefore making you feel better about yourself in the long run. But i wouldn't actually you are the problem its the self esteem that is the problem if you are backing away from people and situations then people are going to feel increasingly distant even if they aren't.
not sure if that made any sense or not i hope it did and i hope it helps some

[blondiebear]

Take some time and make a list of what is good about yourself. If you can't figure out anything, ask a close and trusted friend to help you. Even the little things are good. Small accomplishments during the day like washing the dishes or mopping the floor.

Reaching out for help is an awesome accomplishment. You have done that and you can put it at the top of your list.

[Urethra Franklin]

Try this: Think back to something you did really well, it could be something quite banal like baking a cake well for example. Remember how well you did it and the sense of achievment and feel good factor of doing something to the best of your ability. Remember how good that made you feel about yourself? Now try doing some things similar to what you achieved or try something different, start small and build upon them.