Over the summer, my depression has worsened greatly. It's been getting more and more difficult to cope with. I really, really need to get professional help before something bad happens. But I just can't.
I've tried many, many times. Approaching my mom or best friend, I am confident. And then, the words dry up and I have no courage left. I have written an e-mail to my best friend that I absolutely need to send. Unfortunately I got so nervous before I was actually going to send it I got sick. I am also deeply afraid I will have a panic attack upon sending it.
What am I supposed to do? Because I need help soon, I just don't know what to do.
they wanted to believe
that she was just a Barbie doll,
not even alive in the first place,
her plastic head torn open,
her death splashed across the walls of a child's dollhouse.
I'm afraid she will tell someone, or our friendship will change. Also... i'm afraid she might just think i'm another whiny emo kid with fake problems.
they wanted to believe
that she was just a Barbie doll,
not even alive in the first place,
her plastic head torn open,
her death splashed across the walls of a child's dollhouse.
Your problems are real. Can you trust that? What would help you to trust that?
You know, telling someone how bad things are for you isn't usually half as bad as living with your troubles alone. And usually the fact that you're low, easily upset etc is noticeable anyway.
I'm sorry that you're struggling right now, your problems and worries seem very real to me. No one can tell you that they are fake. It is difficult for people to understand things that they haven't been through but ultimately you know yourself better than anyone else. Can you identify anything that might have happened to worsen your depression? How would you feel aboput talking to someone who doesn't know you? You can seek out professional support yourself.
I can understand your worries about telling others but often it isn't as bad as you imagine it to be. Your GP would be a good person to talk to if you could do that. I hope that you get some support soon. Please take care and get in touch any time.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I understand how hard it is...I've had times in my life where I could have written that exact post myself. You know you need help, but it's SO hard to reach out, so hard to put yourself out there and be vulnerable. Even the simplest confession of having difficulties can feel like you're sharing your deepest, darkest secret. I have often found myself literally shaking at the prospect of sending a message to a friend letting them know what's going on...and then I just can't bring myself to do it. I remember back in high school, promising myself each morning that I would go into the counseling office and make an appointment - but when I got to school, I could never bring myself to open the door.
All that to say...I understand your fear. I understand how hard it is.
But I can also tell you that once you take that first step...once you finally manage to get the words out or send the e-mail...it takes such a burden off you. It's such a relief. And it can give you so much HOPE, just knowing that someone else knows, that you're not alone in this fight.
Like Katie said, your problems are real. And if the first person you tell doesn't believe that...tell another. Just don't give up until you've gotten the help you need, because it's so worth it. You can feel better, you can be happy again, life can be good again. I know it's hard to see it now, but it's true. There are people out there who will understand, and want to help you.
I know it's hard. I know it can feel impossible at times. But don't give up. Keep trying to reach out until the words finally come, until you manage to click the "send" button, or whatever it is. *hugs* You can do it. Keep fighting.
I think sending that e-mail will help you a lot. I think you should also really try and tell your Mum everything because she will do anything to help you. Good luck.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
