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Madness on the flip of a coin
Multiple Personalities...
I suppose it started in the military, probably somewhere in Boot Camp.
I can only remember about half of everything that went on there. I remember most of the beginning. I remember the things that my RDC used to do to me... And then I distinctly remember the fear in his eyes toward the end of it all. There is a gap in it all, not long after I had my wisdom teeth removed in week 4. I was on morphine for it, and until that point, I kept to myself. After that, I started finding little drawings within my belongings, and people started treating me different. It got dark, and I could feel it.
Most of the military passed me by quickly. I remember bits and pieces of it, but sparse memories actually contain anything that didn't seem to fuel a rage within me.
Rage... I think that's what this is all about. Everyone has their limits, and then they break. I broke alright, and there is no doubt in it. Somewhere in there, I became so vengeful, that I split. Several times.
I like to think that I'm a good person. I've been shy most my life, I help others out when I see the opportunity, I do what I can for those around me and myself only if I have extra time.
But ever since the military, I've been like a coin. I change over from one to the other sometimes with very little push, and I can go an entire day, maybe more, without realizing it.
The greatest of these, he calls himself Koth. It is apparent that he actually believes he is a dragon. You can sort of imagine what it is he does, and how he treats people, and i've never really learned how to cope with it, or maybe how to prevent him from consuming me.
I'm more than certain i'm not the only one with issues such as this, so I ask; What do you do to care for yourself? Is it possible to live life in a different way, that these things are less likely to occur? I don't have the ability to see a doctor, and I haven't been in 2 years since I was finally diagnosed with everything.
~Tobias
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