I've had a tough time lately, but was feeling things leveling off a little and have been able to do a few routine things...starting to feel more on top of my emotions. My partner has been supportive throughout. However, since i've been on new meds i havn't had much of a sex drive, but my partner seems to want it more than ever. This was not a problem until last night when i told her i was tired, i really wasn't in the mood. Then she turned her back on me and wouldn't talk to me. I know if the situation was reversed i wouldn't be angry with her, i'd accept it and be happy with a cuddle.My feelings are hurt because she blanked me and she knows i can't go to sleep on an argument, as it festers in my mind. I stayed in bed this morning so that i didn't have to face her, i just want to curl up protectively and make the world go away,i am angry in a sense...part of me says that her turning her back because she felt rejected was deliberate-to make ME feel rejected-and it worked!!
Suzanne xxx
Yeah, I would say that her turning her back on you was probably because she felt rejected and it was a way of showing you how she felt without causing a big argument (I would tend to do the same thing). The fact that she has now forgotten it seems to mean that it was not a huge issue for her and by texting you she is saying that all is well and not to worry.
Have you tried talking to her to explain how the new meds are making you feel?
I just thought she was trying to make me suffer, but that doesn't make sense when generally she is so supportive. I often find i can't see outside of my own thoughts and emotions, i can't work out how those i'm close to are feeling because i'm so wrapped up in how i'm feeling. I hate myself for that and wish i could change it, because its not fair on others, i judge situations wrong...probably just cause i'm over sensitive- anyways, i will try and speak to her about it, when i can work out how to bring the subject up. Its not that my mind doesn't desire her, its the rest of me that is struggling. Thank you for the reply, its helped me order my thoughts.
Suzanne xxx
Wish I had some advice for you. Want to let you know that I read your post and that I care.
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
*cuddles* sometimes when we're in that dark place that is controlling our lives, we can't see the good in our lives, it's all overshadowed by something that might be bad. So what happens is our minds automatically change any situation to a negative one. *nods* I don't know if that makes sense, but I suggest talking to your partner and asking her what it meant. *cuddles*
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I think you are right, in fact i'm always aware that i SHOULD be happy, i have a partner who loves and supports me, but the thoughts i have about her sometimes gives me this image that she treats me badly. She doesn't, and never has yet its so easy to believe she wants to hurt me, because i feel so bad inside.I self-medicated last night with my olanzapine just so that i would fall asleep instead of causing an argument(i was feeling volatile) i have PMDD going on now, and i'm trying to fight evey emotional reaction in the world. Thank you for the *cuddles* they were recieved in a snuggly warm fashion.
Take Care,
Suzanne xxx
We have discussed the situation, and the impression i get is that she is relieved that i have explained it to her. It looks like you are the wisest ones! I am now in a stroppy frame of mind, pre menstrual again. I have got the stamp my feet syndrome, and feel childish, as in my mind i'm competetive-vieing for claires attentions with the kids, and facebook lol. pathetic i know, but i hide it well, so as not to upset the applecart. I'm feeling the pressure after the first week,behaving responsibly when you feel like screaming your head off is hard work. i've only harmed once though(minor burn) so its an improvement on last summer.
Suzanne xxx
it's so nroml! i get so upset when ipms.... i get uber clingy and stuff. don't worryabot it@ i bet she is relieve you've explained it as she prly didn't have a clie before! so at least nw she knows and hopefult can deal. *nds*
*cuddles
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
