Triggering (SI/Suicide) - Attention-seeker

[Anansi]

Last night, I found out that a pretty close friend of mine - at least they once were - branded me an attention-seeker and I don't know how to react.
I know some people are just not ever going to understand how truly crippling this depression is but...why? I mean, I never ever said I was feeling bad if he didn't ask. I just reacted to him and the illness and acted how I am. When I've attempted suicide it's been ebcause I really have nothing left to give and if I have told someone then...I don't know. A cry for help? Bah. The self-harm is me coping...

...How do I deal with this? It's made me feel awful, really really awful. I know there are people out there with worse lives than me, people who are more ill than me, maybe I AM an attenion-seeker? Maybe I don't deserve the help I get?

Anyone got any experience/advice? I'm not sure what to say/do.

[Popple]

*cuddles*
I am sorry sweetie
It's never nice to be labelled
But remember wanting attention is not always a bad thing because everyon needs attention sometimes it's part of being human
And it's not like you are deliberately going out of your way to get loads of attention postive or negative so you have done nothing wrong hun.
and I agree it might be worth talking to this person and just explaining things to them because they obviously don't understand whats going on for you very well
Take care of yourself sweetie
Much love
xx

[Anansi]

Did something stupid this morning and thought it would help. It didn't. Neither did I succeed and this is still bothering me just as much. I can't really talk to him about it because he'll barely talk to me let alone have an argument with me.

Thanks for the advice thought guys, it means a lot.

[Anansi]

Hm, that might be an idea. He still sees some of my friends. Problem is I miss him like hell and I don't want to have any sort of disagreement with him and jeapordise (sp?) the friendship we might still have as I'm having to "win him back" at the moment.

Then again, odds are he's reading this/will read this and then it doesn't matter what I d.

[Anansi]

That would be perfect but I have a feeling he might be a bit hostile towards me about it. Just a hunch though, I think I might give it a go, thankyou.

[hellohefalump]

I agree with what crazy rabbit lady said.

Here is my story:

I used to be what you'd call an attention seeker. Then things got so bad I ended up inpatient for many months. At first, it was great - I loved it there! *i know, I'm wierd!* because I got to go to lots of group therapy sessions and talk about myself and how bad I felt and people listened. After a few months, I started to feel less like talking about myself. I was getting better.

I guess what I'm saying is, when I was an 'attention seeker' I was very ill and NEEDED to talk. So I went into treatment and did lots of talking, and started to feel better. Now I'm pretty much better (this was many years ago now) and I don't really talk about my problems much.

At the time my friends all dropped me as soon as I went inpatient. Only one stayed by me. I know now, the others weren't really my friends. They were just there to have a laugh and when things got tough, they left me on my own.

I was like that - this guy that I was in love with said I was an attention seeker, called me names, emotionally abused me and bitched about me etc etc etc, I ended up ODing, haven't spoken to the guy since...

Now I feel better for not being labelled, but still miss him as a friend. Haven't had therapy either so I'm still fucked up.

ANYWAY, in short, if you value him as a friend you need to sort it out before you lose each other for good. Try the letter thing, letters usually work. And take your time writing it, don't say anything you don't mean.

Good luck xx

[Anansi]

Thankyou all so much :)
I understand what you mena about going inpatient. I WANT the help now. Maybe that does count as attention-seeking but not in a bad way at all. I want attention because I want someone to make me better.

I think I will try writing him a letter, unless he ends up reading this and finding out anyway :P

[rachelll11]

i had people come to my door and pretend to self harm, and laugh at me and mock me before, i learned that they didnt understand and that they were the ones that were attention seeking. So i think its the other way around, all the time :)
x