Ok, I'll explain the whole story. After having a few very rough weeks, yesterday I was finally in a good place, managing to have a laugh have fun etc. That was until my best mate started ignoring me BECAUSE I was in such a good mood, I was kind of hyper but I was so happy that I had my friends around me and was feeling OK for once. Anyway after he got mad it upset me and I ended up taking a big OD. I tried to stay awake but eventually passed out about 3am this morning. I later woke up at midday throwing up for half an hour. OK self inflicted I know but I didnt want to wake up to be totally honest. I wanted it to kill me. I was that upset and hurt because I had upset my best mate. Anyway I then went online, went onto facebook as I usually do when I log onto my computer only to find that my best mate had removed me as a contact AND blocked me. Ok he knew I have been having a few bad weeks, and so I assumed he got mad at me for being hyper last night. I then rang him to find out what had happened, he said he had done it because I had been making stupid comments on his photos (me messing about nothing malicious in any way) and it had annoyed him. Ok is that a good enough reason to start hating your best friend? Over the last few weeks he has treated me like shit but if he said he needed a friend I would be there in a flash. obviously the same couldn't be said about him. So in the end I gave him a few hours to cool off after I had hung up on him due to his immaturity, I then rang him back, as soon as he knew it was me he made a noise as if to say 'don't bother' so I asked why the noise he said he didnt want to talk to me (to be honest I don't see what I have done that is so wrong) so I said to him I know but I want to talk to you, at which point he hung up, leaving me feel more suicidal than I was last night due to the fact I ended up feel even more rejected by one of three people who have been bothered to be my friend the last few months, I ended up sitting in the park deliberating whether or not to ring my other mate. I did in the end but never told her why. It was either that or take the pills I had just bought and jump into the ponds not far from where I was. I have managed to last this long but to be honest I don't know what to do now because I need my friends to keep me sane and to push me along but I can't keep turning to Dani and Charli it's not fair on them.
Anyway I don't really know why I'm posting, think it's mainly I just feel like I've got no-where else to turn anymore. I've been rejected by way too many friends at the minute and don't think I can cope with anthing on my own.
